Sunday, 21 October 2018

Inktober/Blogtober Crossover: Day 21

You know that feeling, where it's like someone has just attached a hoover to your head and sucked out every last bit of energy?  That's kind of where I'm at, right now.  Or at least, I'm dangerously close to it.  I feel physically and mentally drained and, seeing as today's Inktober prompt word is "drain," I figured I have an excellent excuse to moan blog about it.  And yes, I know I wrote about feeling drained of energy when Inktober's 7th prompt word was "exhausted," but on that day I was talking about tiredness and how those who don't have children are sometimes told they don't really know what feeling exhausted is actually like (something I vehemently disagree with).  Today, I want to fully explain why I'm so shattered...

For around seven to eight weeks, I've been waiting for a hospital appointment for a sore throat I've had since the start of the year.  Yes, you read that right.  I stopped counting how many times I'd been to the doctors about it after the third or fourth visit.  Back in March/April, I was on some really gross medicine to try to ease it.  It did a bit, but once I came off the medicine, the sore throat returned.  Towards the summer, I had my asthma medication changed, in case that was causing the problem.  We're now heading to the end of October and I still have a sore throat that's bad enough that it sometimes wakes me up in the early hours of the morning, because it hurts too much for me to sleep.

For the last four weeks or more, I've also had a weird virus that's causing me to feel like I have a permanent cold and a nagging cough that I can't entirely shake.  It's fair to say that I feel really run down, physically.  I've still been going to work, doing a job that can be stressful and exhausting, particularly when you're on a 9 or a 10 hour shift.  I've still been keeping up with filming and editing weekly YouTube videos for my channel and I'm currently working on editing a video for the other, still relatively new channel I'm part of (if you haven't checked out Craftastrophe, do so, it's hilarious).  I've forced myself to keep up with this Inktober/Blogtober thing as well as my weekly bedtime stories.  I've managed to find time to practise for chorus rehearsals (albeit badly, lately) and I'll squeeze in time to plan a fun vocal warm up for this week.  

I'm not moaning about any of those things, obviously.  I hugely enjoy filming, editing, writing, singing etc, but add it all together and combine it with a day job, plus this weird virus and permanently sore throat and it's not hard to see why I'm flipping shattered.  Like, all the time.

In my job, it's important to be upbeat and jazz hands about things.  I work with small children and I spend some of my day singing silly songs, dancing about and chasing toddlers as they zoom around the garden.  There's a lot more to my job than that, but rest assured, it can be pretty physically demanding, as well as mentally tiring when you're not feeling as perky as you're required to be.

Nor can you film a YouTube video in a very downbeat, slow manner, unless it's on purpose.  I like the videos on my YouTube channel to be entertaining and fun, which means if I'm not feeling full of energy, I either have to put off filming until I am, or it's a major case of "faking it."  And when I resort to acting as though I'm feeling full of vim and vigour, that can be pretty mentally exhausting as well.

And so, I find myself at a point at which most of my "perky reserves" have been drained.  My body is crying out for rest.  My mind is begging for a break.

This week is half term week and, as I only work term time, I have a week off.  And yes, I fully intend to have some early nights and long lie-ins, in a desperate attempt to feel less drained than I currently do.  I'm also going to try to see friends and do some fun things alongside the "work" (writing, editing etc) I have to do (I'm going out to visit a friend and cuddle her three new puppies in an hour or so), because I find that always perks me up.

I am determined to shake off this cold thing and be a picture of health by the end of the week, too.

I don't want to be a moaning Minnie, harping on about how knackered I am, all the time.  So, this week is Operation Get Back To Normal.

Here's hoping that by the time I go back to work, I'm rejuvenated and there'll be no faking it required.

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