Bedtime Story (11/04/2018)

Lately, I've been thinking about how much of ourselves we sometimes keep hidden and how easy it is to judge someone based on only a fraction of their personality.  With that in mind, I wanted to write a story about acknowledging a person as a whole, not by only one aspect of who we think they are.  I think that's a pretty important lesson to teach little ones and I hope you enjoy this week's story.

You can also listen to this story as a podcast.

Alex Is The Bravest Boy

Alex is the bravest boy, 

Perhaps in the whole school.

He's the first to go exploring,

The first to dive into the pool.

He isn't scared of bugs or ghosts,

Or anything at all!

He's never one to shy away,

He's always standing tall.

But Alex has a big fear,

That keeps him up at night.

The thought of looking scared

Makes him quiver with such fright!

He thinks he has to be the bravest,

Because it's what his friends expect.

If he admits to being frightened,

His reputation would be wrecked!

Leila is the funny one,

She's always telling jokes!

If you sit next to her at lunch,

She'll make you giggle 'til you croak!

She never takes life seriously,

She's always up for a laugh.

When you hear a joke from Leila,

Your day improves by half!

But Leila's jokes are armour,

To protect her from the world.

"Because sometimes life is scary,"

She thinks, with her lip curled.

"And sometimes life is sad as well,

With troubles heaped on in piles.

And all you can do is tell a joke

To try to make people smile."

Then there's Chris, the quiet one.

He doesn't have much to say.

He keeps himself to himself,

Doesn't like to get in the way.

He doesn't like to take charge of games,

He's not a boy who leads.

He'd much rather sit all by himself,

In a quiet corner and read.

But Chris isn't actually quiet,

He's just ever so shy.

He'd love to really get involved;

He feels life just passes him by.

He's not sure how to leave his shell,

So he watches the others roaring,

As he peeps over the top of his book,

And hopes they don't think he's boring.

People are just like icebergs,

With only the tip above the sea.

There's more to them than meets the eye,

So much more than you first see.

So try to get to know some more:

Find out who they really are.

When a person is more than just one thing,

They become more exciting by far!

They might still be brave, or funny or shy,

But they'll have a lot more to them, too.

So getting to know your friends a bit better

Is what I encourage you all to do.

THE END

I CANNOT Find My Chill...

My brain is a strange - and not always pleasant - place.  As a result, I have something of a love/hate relationship with my own mind.  There are days when my brain takes particularly cruel pride in reminding me of all the things that have gone wrong in my life.  There are nights when I'm trying to sleep, during which my brain will replay all the things I've done wrong in my life.  I'll have moments when, thanks to the little sadist in my head, I'll convince myself that I'm useless at everything, have no actual friends and that if I tell anyone I'm feeling that way, they'll think I'm an attention-seeking drama queen and immediately lose any smidgeon of respect for me they might have otherwise had.

GEE, THANKS, BRAIN!

As a side note, my method for cheering myself up again, when my brain is in full-on sadistic mode, is to sing along with this song until I laugh at myself:

And then I binge-watch Crazy Ex Girlfriend and just adore Rachel Bloom for a while.

The thing is, my brain has a flip-side.  The sadistic "you are rubbish and everyone hates you" part of it is sometimes overshadowed by a weird, desperate need to do ALL THE THINGS AT ONCE.  Consequently, I might have a day during which I have to fight the urge to contact everyone I know and arrange lunch, dinner and a night out.  I'll randomly want a holiday.  But not in the usual "ooh, work has been stressful, I could use a break" way that most of us feel, from time to time.  I'm talking: "OH MY GOD, I SHOULD BOOK A TRIP SOMEWHERE!   I WANT TO GO AWAY.  I WANT TO RIDE A ROLLERCOASTER.  I SHOULD MAYBE TAKE UP AN EXTREME SPORT.  PERHAPS I'LL DO A PARACHUTE JUMP!"

 This ludicrous desire to do everything, all at once, almost always follows a period of "everyone hates you."  It's taken me years to realise that, weird though it is, this is actually my brain's way of protecting myself and bringing me out of that mopey, depressive phase.  It doesn't work for everyone - anxiety is a right mare and sometimes it, combined with depression, can make plans seem terrifying and unachievable - but it works for me.  The best way of bringing me out of a mood slump is by... Well, bringing me out, full stop.  Taking me somewhere for lunch.  Arranging drinks, somewhere.  Going on a day trip.

I know this, so naturally, if I don't have any upcoming plans, I guess it makes sense that I might start wanting to make some.  It makes slightly less sense that I decide I absolutely need to go everywhere and do everything, ideally on the same day, but hey...  Essentially, what I need to do is keep myself busy, do things that I find fun, with people I feel comfortable around.  If I can do that, I'll be fine.  If for any reason I can't (lack of money, friends being busy with other plans etc), I just kind of lose my chill.

Completely.

I can go stir-crazy, even if I've only been sitting around doing nothing for as little as half an hour, when my brain is in "chill-free" mode.  I need to go for a walk.  Except no, I actually need to go out for lunch with a friend.  Except no, I really want to visit a theme park.  Except...

Thankfully, this phase doesn't last too long.  At least, it tends to only last as long as it takes to get over the mopey/depressive phase that preceded it.  Before long, I rediscover my ability to laze about, binge-watching something on Netflix, or reading a book for hours.  I guess that's probably because eventually, I'm able to be alone with my own thoughts, without those thoughts being:" Remember how rubbish a human you are?!"  At the end of the day, my lack of chill and my drastic desire to constantly be doing things is almost certainly a way of stopping myself from thinking too much.  Specifically, stopping myself from thinking really mean thoughts about... Well, me.

So, yesterday was one of those "I'm rubbish" days.  Meaning that today, I've constantly been wanting to make plans and occupy myself with literally anything.  Sitting around doing nothing was not an option for my brain, today.

Of course, the irony is, sitting down to write this blog has actually forced me to think about all the things I'd usually be trying to avoid (probably through desperately attempting to persuade people to go and play crazy golf, or something).

Maybe I will find my chill, after all.  I'm off to look behind the sofa...

Bedtime Story (4/4/2018)

A bit of a deep subject this week, but I've been thinking about the different places that anger can come from and the other emotions that often hide behind it.  I'm a strong believer that no subject should be off-limits, in terms of children's stories, so I decided to write about this one!

You can listen to this story as a podcast by clicking here.

The Angry Kid

In Jackson's class, there was a boy,

Who always seemed to be mad.

His face was like thunder, his hands were in fists.

He was a very angry lad.

The boy was always stomping his feet,

And giving out furious glares.

Jackson and his friends would cower and shrink

Beneath the weight of the angry kid's stares.

But behind his fury was a different feeling.

One day, Jackson heard him cry:

"My Gran's in hospital, really ill.

I'm just so scared she might die."

Suddenly, the angry kid in his class

Wasn't a tough boy with no cares.

He was a young lad, frightened by realising

That sometimes, life isn't fair.

So, Jackson gently spoke to the boy,

Who admitted that he felt really sad.

"Sometimes," the boy said, "I feel so afraid,

It bubbles over and makes me feel mad."

"Does that sound stupid?" The boy asked.

"To be angry because I feel scared?"

But he didn't seem so cross anymore,

Because he knew now that somebody cared.

"All kinds of feelings can make us mad,"

Jackson smiled as he softly replied.

"If a feeling is bad, it can tangle your mind

And make you feel stormy inside."

"Sometimes if I feel embarrassed," he said,

"I get grumpy and cross with my friends.

I end up frowning and sulking until

The angry feeling inside of me ends."

"I get grouchy when I'm tired as well,

Because then my temper is short.

I feel like I want to block out the whole world

And just be alone with my thoughts."

"We might be cross because we don't feel well,

Or frustrated because something went wrong.

And sometimes that anger can stay a while,

But other times it doesn't last long."

"The important thing is to know how you feel;

What's the reason you're feeling so mad?

Then you can work out what to do next,

To stop yourself feeling so bad."

"You might need to talk to your family or friends,

Or you may need some time on your own.

You might have energy you've got to burn off,

Or you might want quiet time, safe at home."

"Just remember being angry doesn't feel nice.

That feeling can tie you in knots.

It might cause you to make some bad choices.

It can make you feel breathless and hot."

"Being angry happens to everyone.

It's a perfectly normal thing for you to feel.

But if you can find out what's making you so mad,

You'll soon be back on an even keel."

The boy didn't look so incensed, anymore,

Although he did still look rather sad.

But he managed a smile at Jackson;

Just having talked it through made him glad.

So, next time you start feeling angry,

Remember to ask yourself why.

Then do whatever you need to do,

To wave those cross feelings goodbye.

Count to ten, take a deep breath,

Or sit quietly up in your room.

Hit a pillow, or play music loud,

You could even howl at the moon!

Just don't let that angry feeling

Drive you totally mad.

Remember family and friends are there

To help when things feel bad.

And you can help others too, sometimes,

As through life you are travelling along.

Perhaps next time someone seems upset,

You could start by asking: "What's wrong?"

THE END

Bedtime Story (28/3/2018)

As I write this, rather unusually for Cornwall, it's snowing quite heavily!  The weather has been all over the place so far this year, so what else could I do but write yet another story about it?!

If you'd like to listen to this story, just click here for the podcast!

"What's Your Favourite Kind of Weather?"

"I can't do my homework," Alice loudly moaned.

"It's just too hard!"  She rolled her eyes and groaned.

"We have to write about what kind of weather we like best,

But I like every kind of weather," poor Alice confessed.

Mum pulled a face: "Surely not all kinds?

There must be a favourite type that you can find?

Or maybe think of weather you don't like and rule that out?

Then you'll just be left with good weather types to write about."

"But I like all weather, I told you!"  Alice said.

"Can't I just write about loving every kind, instead?"

And so, Alice decided that was just what she would do.

And she chose to tell her mother all about it, too.

"I love it when it rains and causes puddles on the ground,

Because I can wear my wellies and splash and stomp around.

Sometimes when the ground gets wet, I can make mud pies!

And even if you just breathe in, rainy air smells kind of nice."

"I love a cold, crisp day outside," were the next words Alice spoke.

"You go into the chilly air and see your breath come out like smoke!

Everything is frosty and sometimes, the puddles freeze.

You run around to warm up, with your cheeks pink from the breeze."

"And windy days are excellent," Alice added with a smile.

"You can throw a leaf into the air and watch it blow for miles!

You can't stand still for too long, or you might just blow away,

And when the wind is noisy, you can't hear what people say!"

Alice clapped her hands together, suddenly crying: "Snow!

Oh, it's so lovely to watch those twirling white flakes blow.

Building snowmen, throwing snowballs and sledging down the street.

It may be cold, but snowy days really are a treat!"

"But then again, a hot day is pretty special, too.

When your skin smells of sun cream and the sky is clear, bright blue.

Sunny days are perfect for a fun trip to the sea.

I lie there in the warm sand and let the sun beam down on me."

"Of course, a hot day means finding shady spots to hide,

Just to start you cooling down, before you get too fried!

But feeling the warmth on your skin makes everyone feel better.

No need for Winter boots, or a big, thick, woolly sweater!"

"Even storms are brilliant," Alice told her mum.

"With all that flashing lightning and thunder like a drum.

You have to sit by the window and watch it through the glass.

I don't mind staying inside and waiting for it to pass."

"I even like a foggy day, when the clouds hang really low.

You can barely see a thing; you have to mind how you go.

All the world looks different, depending on the weather.

But all of it is beautiful, when we enjoy it together."

"So, I can't pick my favourite; trying just gives me the blues.

I really do love all weathers and I simply cannot choose."

Alice finished writing and on her pencil started chewing:

"I think it's time to go outside and see what the weather's doing!"

THE END

You ARE Ready!!

This morning, whilst I was browsing Twitter from an account I co-run, I stumbled upon the above tweet.  I stared at it for a while, with a look of confusion on my face.  Granted, it wasn't even six thirty in the morning and confusion is basically the only look you're going to get from me at that kind of hour, but even long after I was up and getting on with my day, the general feeling of "EH?!" remained.

Because you guys, I have a pair of legs.  And Spring has literally never affected them.  Ever. 

The only preparation I have ever done, in the event of warmer weather finally arriving, is to shave my legs if I'm wearing a skirt/dress/shorts and to slap on a bit of sun cream if necessary.  Is that really worthy of an entire magazine article?! 

The short answer to that is no, of course it flipping isn't.  But magazines like Vogue don't make any money out of going "hey, don't forget the Factor 30 on a sunny day."  They make their cash by promoting a particular standard of beauty, which women should all supposedly aspire to, despite it being entirely unrealistic.  They make their money by filling their pages with adverts for expensive products, then printing articles that makes their readers think they desperately need those products.  Hence you'll find some ludicrous piece entitled "Ladies, Make Sure Your Nostrils Are Party Ready, This Season!" nestled close to a full page, glossy ad for some crazily expensive nose-hair trimmers.

And whilst men's magazines do have articles pertaining to a particular standard of attractiveness that guys are supposed to work towards, it's fair to say that this weird cry of "IS YOUR BODY READY FOR EASTER FRIDAY?!" and so on, is a peculiarly female thing.  Ask yourself: have you ever seen an article asking men if their legs are ready for Spring?

I've ranted about this stuff before, but I feel like it's something I will be forced to keep coming back to, as long as this idiocy continues.  Because that's what it is: idiocy.

If you have legs and it's Spring where you are, guess what?  Your legs are Spring-ready.

Do you have a body?  Are you capable of taking it to a beach?  Congratulations, you're beach-body-ready.

And so on and so on for all eternity.

Look, there's nothing wrong with enjoying making yourself look and feel good.  There's nothing wrong with choosing to read make up tips or fashion magazines, if that's what you want to do.  But there is a whole world of wrong when it comes to forcing total nonsense on women and making them feel like they might not be good enough if they're not some airbrushed, perfectly contoured, size zero waif with this season's correct armpit-colour.

You are ready.  

Right now.  

You are good enough.  If you want to lose some weight, go for it.  If you feel like doing some kind of detox or arranging an exercise plan, that's great.  But do those things for you and your own health.  Don't do them because some overpriced, glossy rag is telling you that you need to in order to be valid as a person.  

Take your body to a beach, no matter what your body looks like.  Enjoy Spring, regardless of the state of your flaming legs.  

Whatever you look like, whoever you are, YOU are ready.

Never let a magazine stuffed full of photoshopped models tell you any different.

Bedtime Story (21/3/2018)

Yesterday was... not a good day.  Consequently, I struggled for a while to even think of anything to write, but then I thought: We all have bad days, now and then.  So why not just write about that?!

If you would rather, you can click to give the podcast version of this story a listen!

A Bad Day For Denzil

From the moment he woke up, Denzil had a feeling it wasn't going to be the best day.

His alarm clock buzzed and wrenched him out of a brilliant dream.  In his haste to stop the noise, Denzil bashed the clock so hard, it fell off his bedside table with a thud, knocking down a glass of water at the same time.  When Denzil groaned and swung his legs over the side of his bed, his toes landed straight in the puddle the water had made on the floor.

And it didn't stop there.  No matter what Denzil did, everything seemed to go wrong.

He dropped his toast and it landed upside down, leaving sticky strawberry jam all over the kitchen floor.  

He couldn't find his PE shorts anywhere.

His hair kept sticking out at odd angles, no matter how much he tried to brush it flat.

Denzil hoped that once he left the house and headed off to school, things would improve.

But they didn't.

Denzil's favourite pencil snapped when he was trying to sharpen it.

His water bottle leaked all over the new comic he'd brought in to show his friends.

And when everyone went rushing out into the playground after lunch, Denzil slipped over and grazed his elbow and his knee on his right side, meaning he wasn't as good at football as he usually was.

In the afternoon, Denzil was determined that things would get better.

But they didn't.

He got four questions wrong in his maths test.

He accidentally leaned in wet paint whilst finishing off a picture he was working on, leaving a big, blue blob on his sleeve.

And as he finally started walking home, it began to rain.

That evening, as Denzil sat on the sofa, watching TV, he still felt glum.

"What's up?"  Mum asked.  She came over to sit beside him, with a worried look on her face.

Denzil let out a long, slow sigh.  "I had a bad day," he confessed.  "Everything went wrong."

Mum frowned.  "Everything?"  She cocked her head to one side.  "Did anything really serious happen?"

Denzil pointed to his sleeve.  "I got paint all over my school jumper.  And my favourite pencil snapped.  Plus, my comic is ruined and my knee and elbow hurt from falling down."

Mum nodded.  "Okay, well...  I can put your jumper in the wash.  And this weekend, we can go into town and get you some cool new stationery to take to school.  We'll try hanging the comic over the radiator to dry off and if that doesn't work, I'm sure we can replace it.  As for your elbow and knee, they'll heal in time."

Denzil pulled a face.  "None of that makes me feel better right now," he pouted.  "It's still raining outside and I'm tired and fed up."

"That's alright," Mum replied.  "You're allowed to be.  Nobody likes having a bad day."  She got up and closed the curtains.  She switched on the lamp and made the room nice and cosy.  "But you know, it's warm and dry indoors, even if it's wet and cold outside.  And you're at home, safe and sound.  This is the best place in the world to moan about your bad day, because it's also the number one place to make it all better, again."

Denzil stared back at her, thinking about her words.  The sofa was ever so comfy.  And his favourite TV show was going to come on, soon.  Plus, he could smell his favourite dinner cooking in the oven...

Suddenly, he realised Mum was right.  Nothing really serious had happened.  Just lots of annoying things, one after the other.  It was okay to be cross and grumpy, but it was also okay if he wanted to let go of those feelings and start to feel better.

"There's chocolate ice cream in the freezer for pudding," Mum smiled.  "You know, just in case that helps turn your bad day around, a bit..."

A smile began to creep across Denzil's face.  "Chocolate ice cream does make most things better..."

Mum gave him a hug and grinned.  "Whatever happened today, it's over now," she told him.  "Tomorrow, you can start again and hopefully it'll be a good day."

With that, she disappeared into the kitchen, to finish cooking dinner.

Denzil could feel his tummy rumbling as the smell of dinner wafted through the house.  He sank deeper against the sofa cushions and curled his legs beneath him.  His favourite TV show started.  The smile on his face got a bit bigger.

Perhaps the day wasn't all bad.

THE END

Bedtime Story (14/3/2018)

We've all had that moment at some point in our lives, where we've met someone and instantly felt as though they're just meant to be our friend.  It's hard enough as an adult, navigating the whole "can we be buddies?!" situation, let alone for a child!  So, this story is dedicated to anyone who has ever set their sights on friendship with someone they think might be out of their league.

You can also listen to this story as a podcast, by clicking here.

The New Girl

She'd started school on Monday.  Jenna had watched her walk into the classroom, looking all nervous and shy.  But as it turned out, the new girl - Annie - had nothing to be shy about.  She was the coolest, funniest, cleverest and most interesting person Jenna had ever met.

On Monday afternoon, when the whole school joined together for assembly, Jenna couldn't help but notice how sweetly Annie sang.  Jenna could never hit the high notes, but Annie sounded like she should be in a choir.

When their class had PE on Tuesday, Annie had taught them a dance routine she and her friends at her old school had made up.  Everyone agreed it was really good.  Some of the moves were tricky for Jenna to get to grips with, but Annie made it look easy.

When they had a science lesson on Wednesday, Annie told the class about a really cool experiment she'd done at home once, making a bottle-rocket that really flew.

On Thursday, Annie had arrived at school, wearing a brand new coat.  The same coat that Jenna had been gazing longingly through the shop window at for weeks.

Now, as the last day of the school week rolled around, Jenna wished she was brave enough to really talk to Annie.  She'd spoken to her a few times, but she'd never been able to chat to her properly.  Annie was so cool, it made Jenna feel nervous, as though she couldn't find the right words.

Annie sat on a different table to Jenna, too, so she'd made friends with everyone who sat closer to her.  Jenna wasn't sure Annie would want to be friends with her, as well, even though being Annie's friend was what Jenna wanted more than anything.

They were just finishing off an English lesson, when the teacher explained: "After break time, we'll be getting into groups for a maths activity.  I've already planned who's going in which group, so make sure you're listening when you get back in from the playground, or you won't know which group you're going to be in."

With that, everyone got up to go and play outside.  Jenna watched Annie skip off with some of the children from her table.  She had brought a special snack to eat at break time; her cousin had sent it over from America.  Everyone wanted to try a bit, but Jenna hung back.  Annie was the most awesome person.  Whereas Jenna was... Well, she was just normal.

Jenna spent most of playtime with a couple of the girls who sat on her table.  They told stories and played games, but Jenna felt a bit left out.  The girls were best friends and she didn't really have a best friend of her own.  When the bell rang for the end of break, Jenna trudged back to the classroom, feeling more than a little fed up.

"Right, listen out for your names," the teacher called.  "Jack, Simon, Annie and Jenna:  you're Group 1."

Jenna couldn't believe it!  She barely listened as the teacher explained what they'd be doing.  She and Annie were going to be in a group, together!  Suddenly, Jenna felt horribly nervous.  What if she couldn't think of anything to say to Annie?!  She held her breath as she walked across the classroom and stood beside the new girl.

"Are you any good at maths?"  Annie asked.  Her big blue eyes were wrinkled with concern.  "I'm rubbish at it!"

Jenna blinked back at her.  How could Annie be bad at anything?!  "I...  I'm okay at maths," she stammered.  The truth was, Jenna was top of the class, but she didn't want to sound big-headed, or set herself up for a fall.

"Can you help me?"  Annie asked her.  "I'm not sure I really understand this exercise."

Jenna beamed.  "Of course I can help," she said.  "But...  You're good at everything.  You don't really need my help!"

Annie laughed and her cheeks turned pink.  "Oh, there are loads of things I'm not good at," she chuckled.  

Jenna frowned.  "But you seem so confident about everything!"

Annie shook her head.  "You can fake a bit of confidence when you need to," she explained.  "Coming to this new school was the scariest thing I've ever done.  I've tried really hard to be chatty and to take centre stage now and then, but really, half the time, all I want to be doing is sitting, curled up reading a book, or something.  It's hard being the new girl.  Everyone wants to get to know you, but you don't know them, so you're not sure whether you can totally be yourself.  Does that make sense?"

A big, broad smile crept across Jenna's lips.  "You can be yourself with me," she promised.

"You're the first person to make me think I can be myself, here," Annie grinned.  "Do you think we can be friends?"

Jenna nodded, beaming.  "Definitely."

She could hardly believe that the cool, confident, outspoken new girl was actually just as unsure and nervous as she was.  

By the end of the lesson, Jenna's face hurt from smiling.  She and Annie had learned all about one another and discovered lots of things in common.

Annie was still the coolest, most interesting and funniest person Jenna had ever met.  But now, she was something much more special as well. 

She was her friend.

THE END