I mean, aside from my undying passion for this dude...
There are few things in life more exciting than realising that you're not just a bit interested in something. Discovering a new passion - whether it's for a hobby, a type of food or even a person, is part of what makes life so enjoyable, after all. Yet, sometimes, we discover that we're passionate about something we never really expected to be crazy about...
Personally, I only came to realise just how passionate I had become about something, over the weekend.
A few months ago, I decided to start vlogging. For those of you who think I've just forgotten how to spell "blogging," vlogging is pretty much what I do here, only on camera. Or, to put it another way, I make silly videos about me and my life and I put them up on YouTube.
The thing is, I've been regularly making videos and putting them online for around four months now and I've been enjoying it. But I thought that was about it. I liked it. It was fun. It was a hobby.
Then, on Saturday evening, after a whopping nine hours spent editing my latest video, my software crashed and my project couldn't be saved. I tried to fix it for over two hours, but to no avail. If you want to know what I looked like, giving up on my video, more than eleven hours after starting it, it was something like this:
At first, I thought: "Sure, I'm angry and frustrated, because I've wasted an entire day on this and now it's ruined." But, as time went on and I genuinely struggled to get to sleep that night, I started to realise that actually, I was upset because I was proud of the video and I wanted the world to see it. I had been uploading a video to YouTube every Sunday for the last few months and I hated knowing that this week I'd fail to do so. I wanted my subscribers - all 32 of them (shut up, that's loads in my eyes...) - to have something to watch. I realised, possibly for the first time, that I really care about my little YouTube channel and the content I produce for it.
So, seeing as I wasn't getting any sleep anyway, I got back up and downloaded some paid-for software. And, despite breaking my vow of not touching my bank account until pay day in the process, I quickly realised that it was a price well worth paying for the ability to start my video all over again from scratch and get it uploaded on Sunday evening, as per usual.
I don't look at YouTube the same way, anymore. It used to be the place I went to watch Dan and Phil videos, or to shamelessly sing along to karaoke backing tracks. Suddenly, it's much more than that. It's the place I can unleash my creativity. Somewhere I can learn more about making vlogs and where I can chat to other YouTubers about the experience of making videos and putting them online for people to watch. It's become a part of who I am and I never even realised until last weekend, despite the fact that it's been creeping up on me for ages. I mean, why else do I so often let out a little shriek in the shower, because an idea for a video has suddenly popped into my head?! Why else do I fret so much about creating interesting thumbnails?! Of course this has become important to me!
So, if you haven't been to my channel yet, you can do so by clicking here and I'm going to leave my long-struggled-over video from this Sunday at the bottom of this blog post, so feel free to give that a watch. In the next week or so, I'm planning on filming a channel trailer, so keep an eye out for that as well!
It's a funny feeling, realising that I care almost as much (in fact, probably just as much) about my channel and the videos I make for it as I do about writing, but there we have it - I do! Just by being brave and deciding to try something a little different, I've discovered a brand new passion. I'd encourage anyone thinking about dipping their toes into the waters of vlogging to dive in and just see what happens! Perhaps, like me, you'll discover something you'll fall in love with.
I'm still going to be writing. I'll keep up my weekly bedtime stories and I'll have new posts about other things on a relatively regular basis (I promise - poke me with a stick if I leave it too long!), but there is most definitely a new love in my life, now. Who knew that filming myself on my bed could be so much fun?! Oh, hang on... I don't mean it like that...
Ain't NOBODY who wants to see THAT...
I guess what my major meltdown on Saturday night taught me, is that a love for something can creep on you, even if it's actually been there all along. And, having spent several weeks and months saying "nah, I like watching stuff on YouTube, but I've got no desire to make my own videos," I'm really glad my friends carried on badgering me into giving it a try. I might not be the next Zoella, but I'm having fun. Heck, I even enjoy editing films, which is more than I can say for editing books!!
If you're going to take a message away from this blog, let it be this: try something new. Even if it's something you're not sure about, or that you think you'll be bad at, give it a go. Because you might discover a new passion in life. And even if you don't, at least you've crossed something off the list on the way to finding what your real passion is.
I've found a new passion. And I love it.