I'm Agnostic, But I Still Have Faith...

Faith Hill joke, because HAHAHAHA, hilarious.

So, picture the scene:  I'm sitting here, with an Oreo Easter egg by my side, which I'm preparing to stick my face into, when I stumble upon a series of comments on social media that caused me to have one of those "I AM GOING TO HAVE TO BLOG ABOUT THIS" moments.

It's Easter Sunday and, understandably, many people are talking about their Christian faith, today.  I completely respect that; it's an important day in the Christian calendar and everyone should have a space to discuss their religious beliefs - that's just a part of freedom of speech and it's vital we hold onto it.  

Anyway, I was all prepared to carry on scrolling, like a happy little (Easter) bunny, until I saw a comment that included the word "faithless"and it niggled at me like a stone in my shoe, just big enough to be uncomfortable.  This person was referring to non-religious people as being "faithless" (and also to religious people who choose to live by their own rules, rather than following God's, but that's a whole other blog post in itself...) and the use of that word annoyed me, even though I knew that they were specifically referring to a lack of religious faith, rather than a lack of faith in general.

"Faith" is a word that we often apply to religion, with good reason.  But it has more than one meaning.  I am agnostic - I don't know whether God exists, or whether there's an afterlife or anything like that, but I'm not prepared to entirely rule it out, by referring to myself as an atheist.  I believe that a guy named Jesus existed and I think he probably tried to teach some good stuff in his time, but whether or not he was the son of God is another matter entirely.  So, I call myself an agnostic.  What I do not call myself, is "faithless."

"Faithless" joke, because HAHAHAHA, hilarious.

I may not have faith in the classic, religious sense.  But I have faith, all the same.  To me, "faith" means putting your trust in something and that doesn't have to refer to a Deity of any kind.  I know other agnostics - and atheists - who are equally strong in their alternative faiths.  I also know a lot of wonderful religious folk who would never dream of assuming that just because people like me don't necessarily have faith in God,that it therefore means that we don't have faith in anything.

But that one comment caused an uncomfortable itch that just had to be scratched.  Because the sad fact is that there will always be some people who believe that religious faith is the only kind worth having, just as there will always be atheists who believe that religious faith is utter lunacy and who treat believers with contempt as a result.  Neither is helpful.  People are free to believe or disbelieve as they choose.  I choose to sit on the religious fence (again, I could write a whole other blog about what my beliefs are...), but that doesn't mean that my life is devoid of any faith, whatsoever.

So, in the spirit of today - a day in which light triumphs over darkness and hope reigns supreme, let me answer that stranger who referred to non-religious people as "faithless," by telling you some of the things I have faith in...

I have faith in love - in all its many forms.

STILL SLAYS ME LIKE BUFFY EVERY TIME.

Yes, I'm single.  Yes, my last relationship was abusive.  But yes, I believe in love and I always will.  Love has an incredible power to heal and strengthen us.  Just a hug from a friend can make the world a brighter place.  An act of kindness by a family member can remind us that we're not going through life completely alone.  Love can make us bolder, braver and better as people, when we choose to show it, rather than keeping it to ourselves.  Love, in a world where people hurt one another, where wars rage and where sometimes hope seems in low supply, can be a beacon of light, bursting through the dark.  I believe in giving love to those around us, accepting the love that exists in our lives - in whatever form it takes - and cherishing that love above all else.  My faith in love will never die, because love itself never does.  Relationships may fail and friendships may falter, but love on a grander scale will exist eternally.  In the words of Marvin Gaye,"only love can conquer hate."  It's still true.  It will always be true.

I have faith in people.

They say that people will always let you down, but people are capable of greatness.  For every time a person commits an atrocity, you need only look to the other, better people, reacting to that atrocity by seeing what they can do to help.  There are good people in this world; people who dedicate their lives to making things better for others.  People who campaign, people who stand up against hate and people who make the world a brighter place, just by being themselves.  Despite the many times I say "ugh, I hate people" (and sadly, it is a common phrase...), I still believe in humanity.  I believe that together, people are stronger and that when we join forces to create a community against evil, we prove that humanity is worth keeping faith in.

On a smaller, more personal scale, I believe in the people around me.  I mentioned before that I have faith in love and that's in no small part due to the people who show me it, every single day.  My family and my closest friends will always help me when I need it.  They will always encourage me and want to share in the good things that happen in my life, as well as support me through the bad times.  I mean, really, they actually know me, warts and all, and they still want me around - if that's not worth having faith in, nothing is.

I have faith in the people I choose to keep closest to me, because they've proved themselves time and again to be worth that faith.  I just hope they have as much faith in me and that I always prove that faith justified.

I have faith in following a dream.

You have to have faith in your dreams and aspirations.  If you don't, how are you supposed to chase them?  That was kind of an unintentional poem - feel free to put it on a t-shirt.

I believe in my biggest goals in life.  I have faith - even when it's hard to keep - that pursuing those goals will one day lead to success.  When I check my blog hits and see that a post I spent hours on has only been read 50 times, sure I get a bit downhearted.  But when I check another one and see that it's been read 5000 times, I remind myself that I'm doing my best and I haven't given up, despite the knock-backs.  And that knowledge is enough to make me stronger.

Reaching for our goals and chasing our dreams is the only way to move forwards with positivity.  If you want something badly enough, you have to go for it.  Sure, some of my dreams are downright silly, but what is life without those silly dreams?  And hey, Phil Lester tweeted me the other day.  DREAMS CAN COME TRUE, GUYS.  

Although that's just step one in my many dreams, regarding him...

And finally... I have faith in ME.

For example, I had faith that I could eat this massive breakfast.  

AND I DID.

I am a survivor.  I've been hurt, cheated on, lied to and abused.  But I'm here to talk to you about it and to tell you it's possible to go through all of those things and not be broken forever by them.  I'm stronger than I ever knew and I've never lost my belief in love, or my faith in people, despite the stuff I've been through.  I know who I am, what I believe in and what I want out of life.  I try to be a good friend and a kind person.  I try to think about how my actions affect other people.  I may not be perfect - far from it - but I'm trying.  

Having faith in yourself is possibly the most important kind of faith.  After all, you're going to live with yourself your whole life, so you may as well believe in the person you are.  Trust your choices, listen to your heart and your head and be honest enough to admit when you've made a mistake, so that you can learn from it.  

Have faith in who you are and try to make that person someone good.  Not because a God might be watching, or because a religious text tells you to.  But for yourself and everyone around you.

When you really think about it, there are plenty of things to have faith in.  Plenty of things to hold onto, when we need something we can truly believe in.  Whatever you choose to have faith in - be it religion, or something else entirely - is equally valid.  A person's faith is just that - personal.  

I have faith, this Easter Sunday.  I hope - no matter what form it takes - that you do, too.

Seven Days Make One Weak (Apparently)...

So.  A picture appeared in my Twitter feed this morning and it made me uncomfortable.  So uncomfortable, in fact, that I felt the need to write about it.  I screencapped the image straight away and, at the risk of upsetting my friends with faith, I really feel very strongly that posting stuff like this is unhelpful.  Here's the offending picture:

I really do mean it when I say that I don't want to offend anyone who has faith.  I'm not about to go on a "GOD DOESN'T EXIT, YOU LOSERS" style rant.  It's also important to note that I'm not even an atheist.  I am - and probably always will be - agnostic.

I don't know whether there's a God.  I don't truly know whether there's an afterlife.  If we are brutally honest with ourselves, none of us do.  Faith is a belief in those things.  It's not, in itself, concrete evidence of their existence.

Now, I absolutely understand that for a person of strong faith, it is almost impossible to imagine a life without God.  That life, if they could imagine it, would almost certainly seem emptier and much less meaningful, because something they passionately believed in - something they may have devoted their whole life to - wouldn't be there.  And I can also understand that when you have a very strong belief in something and you feel that it has enriched your life beyond all measure, that it must be hard to imagine that those who don't have it in their lives aren't missing out in the most dreadful way possible.  But that doesn't mean that they are.

Without meaning to make a frivolous comparison; I think people who dismiss Doctor Who are missing out.  But I wouldn't consider their lives to be devoid of purpose or morals.  And that's the message I got from the picture above.  

I know plenty of people who are atheists and many lead rich, full lives.  Some engage in charity work, in order to help the worst off in society.  Some spend a great deal of time thinking about the incredible beauty of the planet we live on and of the creatures we share it with.  Some are happily married, some are bringing up children and some are involved in exciting careers.  Or, to put it another way, they are ordinary people, living their lives the best way they can.  JUST LIKE PEOPLE WITH FAITH.

That picture may not be meant for someone like me.  It was probably created for those who already believe in God and feel that He enriches their lives and that without Him, they would be weak.  If so, then I am probably being oversensitive to something that wasn't meant as a criticism of my Godless existence.  But too often, images like the one I saw today are used to "prove" to people without faith that their lives are somehow lacking.  That we are incomplete.  

Often, when someone converts to a faith, they speak of having felt as though something was "missing" before they "found God."  And that's fine; if religion makes you feel a sense of wholeness that you didn't have before, then it must be a wonderful sensation and I am genuinely glad for you.  But many people who don't consider themselves religious do consider themselves whole.  Many people without a belief in God do feel that their lives are full and that they are able to gain strength from other things.

Like I said, maybe pictures like the one that bothered me so much this morning are only meant to describe those who already have faith.  Maybe it's just about how those people would feel without the God they believe in.  And sharing a picture that sums up how you would feel without your God is of course fine - the Internet should never be policed to the point that we can't do such things.

But when we share things, they will be seen by those who do not share our views or beliefs.  And the wording of that picture makes it very easy for people who are not religious to see it as a criticism of our Godless lives.  It's easy to read it as suggesting that our week must be full of tears and waste and fighting, because we don't have faith.  And if you look at it from that viewpoint - through the eyes of the non-believer - it does come across as a criticism of the lives of those without faith.  I find that kind of accusatory, judgemental tone to leave a very unpleasant taste in my mouth.

For the record, being agnostic means that I have an open mind and I accept that I don't have all the answers to life.  In general, I consider myself to be a pretty well-rounded person (especially after the scone I just ate, smeared with clotted cream...).  I'm sensitive, I have varied interests, I have good friends I enjoy having fun with and if my life lacks anything, it's probably just a geeky boyfriend to share it all with.  I don't feel that my life lacks something because I don't have a strong religious faith.

Or, to put it another way, despite not being deeply religious, my week goes...

SUNDAY

MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY.

I'm not suggesting for a second that nobody should share images intended for those who already have faith, if indeed that's what it was.  But I do think that people of any faith should steer clear of casting judgement over the lives of those who don't.  After all, we have the free will to believe - or disbelieve - in whatever we choose.  And a life can be rich, meaningful and good (in all senses of the word) with or without God in it.

Congratulations, Ireland!!

From the Marriage Equality website.

Only 22 years ago, homosexuality was illegal in Ireland.  Today, it's looking highly likely that Ireland will join just 18 other countries in the world, by legalising same-sex marriage.  It's a massive step to have taken and one that has been welcomed by campaigners not only in Ireland, but all over the world.  Rightly so, not only because a decision to give equal marriage rights to all, regardless of sexuality should be welcomed, but because this decision was taken by popular vote.  And the outcome of that vote is rumoured on some websites to be a whopping 70%+ majority in favour of same-sex marriage.  The people have well and truly spoken.

Anyone who knows me, will know that I have passionate views on the subject of equal rights.  Were I able to have voted on this, it would have been with a resounding yes.

RESOUNDING.

There seem to be three main arguments against same-sex marriage and all of them - literally all of them - are ludicrous.  

1. "It's a SIN."

Firstly, congratulations on your use of my favourite Pet Shop Boys song as an argument.

Secondly, at the risk of offending any of the religious friends I have... Faith is a personal belief.  Sure, I'm being simplistic, but at its very heart, it's true to say that if you believe in God and you want to follow His way, that is a personal choice.  Personally, I'm agnostic - I don't think there's enough "evidence" to either prove or disprove the existence of a higher power or an afterlife - but I don't feel any need to inflict my agnosticism on anyone else.  I certainly wouldn't want laws put in place that only protect my beliefs, without protecting those who don't share them.  I would be absolutely, categorically against anyone being persecuted or denied basic rights, simply because they choose to think differently to me.  I have never - and will never - understood the stance that some religious people take, whereby they hold their beliefs (and let's remember, as powerful as faith can be, that's all it is - a belief) so tightly that they are willing to sacrifice the basic human rights of others, by denying them things we take for granted.  And that judgement (because "judge not, lest ye be judged" doesn't count when you're talking about those filthy gays, apparently) is based upon words in a book, written down thousands of years ago.  We live in a completely different world, yet we're supposed to cling to the laws laid down in an era so utterly alien to ours that almost none of us would last a week in it.  

And don't get me started on the "pick and choose" nature of using religion as an argument against same-sex marriage.  Okay, so you're taking it from the bible that it's a sin to be gay.  I hope you're following everything else in that book, too.  So, no pork or shellfish.  No uncovering your head, altering your clothes in any way (LEST YE DIE) or wearing any "garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together" (so guys, everything in my wardrobe is sending me to HELL).   No more than one flower or plant in your garden, what with the fact that sewing "mixed seed" in your field is a sin.  On the same subject, no owning a cross-breed dog, because mixing breeds is not okay.  No protesting against slavery, because the bible is totally down with that, as long as "your male and female slaves (come) from the nation around you."  No trimming your beard, or cutting your hair ("ye shall not round off the side-growth of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard").  If you're female, no braiding your hair or wearing jewellery of any kind.  No gossipping.  No eating "neither fat nor blood."  So, no burgers and no black pudding.  

Basically, if you're not following literally everything on this list, then don't come at me with the "but God says being gay is bad" argument.  God apparently said a lot of stuff you're happy to ignore.  Don't pick and choose, then expect to be able to defend your ludicrous standpoint.  All or nothing.

FECK OFF.

2. "But marriage has always been between a man and a woman!"

Once upon a time, we didn't allow black people to sit at the front of a bus, either.  You fancy taking a trip down Memory Lane back to those days, too?  

Seriously, the "but it never used to be like that" argument is just an argument against humanitarian progress.  We got rid of slavery.  We got rid of segregation.  We started treating people like... You know, people.  And that's a good thing.  Any law that passes, which enables people to be given the same basic human rights that you or I take for granted is a good thing.

Look, I get that change can be scary.  I'm a Whovian, for goodness sake.  But same-sex marriage is a change for the better.  Or do you really want to be that person who sits in the corner, crying because someone was allowed to do something that you've been able to do your whole life and you just can't get your head around it?

There are people who'll tell you that equality for gay couples somehow undermines the sanctity of marriage.  Does it?  Does it really?  Those straight people who get married, then cheat on their partners, are they really upholding the sanctity of marriage?  People who hold sham weddings so that they can get a visa, are they upholding the sanctity of marriage?!  Sometimes marriage features abuse - is that okay, just as long as the person committing it is straight?!  

The only way the "sanctity of marriage" is upheld is when two people genuinely love one another and want to spend the rest of their lives together, treating each other with respect.  And frankly, those people could be a man and woman, two men or two women.  Love is what makes marriage precious, not genitals.

And as for the whole "but the purpose of marriage is to have children" section of this argument... Ever heard of infertility?  Ever heard of making the choice not to have children?  Or are you seriously suggesting we ban the infertile and those who don't want kids from getting married, too?  God forbid the sanctity of marriage is broken, after all.

They had better be male and female dogs.

3. "It's gross."

Ah, shit.  I forgot that legal loophole, which states that if we allow same-sex marriage, you have to go to a wedding and watch the two grooms go at it right there in the aisle.  Bugger.  Literally.

Except... No.  Listen, I think mushrooms are disgusting.  I find them to be slimy and foul.  But I don't stop other people from eating them.  Why?  Because I don't feel the need to force my views on other people (well, I have a blog, but you know...).  I also can't stand Katie Price (sorry, not sorry), but I get that some people want to read about her or watch her on telly.  I simply choose not to.  I loathe Katie Hopkins, but I recognise that I have the ability to ignore her (as best as I can) and not allow her repulsive hate-mongering to affect my life.  That's the thing - you can dislike something, without it taking over your existence.  I might think you're a raging homophobe if you really do dislike the idea of people being gay, but if I can find some way to be polite to you and treat you as I would any other, then you can find a way to not make a big deal out of two people with the same genitals being attracted to one another.  Attraction is, after all, entirely subjective.  Would you also judge someone for being attracted to people with blue eyes?  No.  Not unless you're absolutely bat-shit insane.

Two guys - or two girls - getting married is going to make no difference to your life.  And if you're seriously spending what little time we have on Earth, mentally picturing gay people and getting all grossed out by it, then I would suggest that you have quite a deep need to reassess your priorities.

Here's the thing:  Gay people exist.  They're out there, living their lives already.  All that "gross" stuff you don't want to think about is already happening.  And it hasn't harmed you in any way, shape or form.  Letting people marry someone of the same sex won't destroy the world as we know it.  Your life will continue tomorrow, just the same as it did yesterday.

There really isn't an argument out there, that could possibly convince me that allowing two people who love one another enough to commit their whole lives to each other - regardless of sexuality - is wrong in any way.  We're all human and we're all just trying to live our lives the best way we know how.  It would be wonderful if we all took a cue from Ireland and recognised that this persecution of others, based on something as subjective as sexual preference, is utterly ridiculous.

Congratulations, Ireland.