This week's bedtime story was partly inspired by a holiday to Butlin's, that I went on back in September 2013. So I figured, in the absence of illustrations this week, I'd share a snap from that trip!
Dotty's Grandpa and His Jumbled Tales
Dotty loved her Grandpa, with his moustache and his flat cap.
She loved the way he taught her games, like Clock Patience and Snap.
She loved the trips he took her on, to London, Bath and Wales.
But most of all, Dotty loved her Grandpa's jumbled tales.
You see, Dotty's Grandpa had a habit of forgetting what came next,
So his stories were the funniest and definitely the best!
Grandpa would tell one fairytale, then mix it with another,
Until Dotty laughed so hard she thought she may never recover!
Whenever Dotty stayed over with her Grandpa and her Gran,
She'd clamber into bed, with one very simple plan.
"Tell me a story, Grandpa" Dotty would beg of him.
And Grandpa would clear his throat and then he would begin...
"Goldilocks lived with her ugly stepsisters, in a cabin in the wood.
Her Bear-y Godmother had a plan to fix it so she could
Go to the ball and meet Prince Charming, where they'd dance all through the night!
But first she had to save Red Riding Hood, who'd had a nasty fright.
A wolf pretended to be Red's Grandma, so Goldilocks took charge -
She rescued Red Riding Hood from the wolf, though he was VERY large.
Once her mission was complete, Goldilocks was tired, of course.
So she popped round to see her friends, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
Snow White made her friend some tea, whilst the dwarves were out at chapel.
And Goldilocks warned Snow White to NEVER eat an apple.
Once she'd perked up again, Goldilocks had to get going.
Although on her way to the ball, she noticed it was snowing!
She rescued two young friends from being turned straight into ice,
By taking on the Snow Queen (who wasn't very nice).
All these things caused Goldilocks to be running rather late
And she sank onto the ground, outside Hansel and Gretel's gate.
"I'll never make the ball," she sobbed, as she nibbled on the post
(The gate was made of chocolate spread, smeared thickly on hot toast).
"Think happy thoughts," Peter Pan told her, as he happened to pass by.
"If you do, I'm sure you'll find that you will start to fly!"
Sure enough, Goldilocks was soon whizzing through the air,
Waving to Rapunzel, who was letting down her hair.
Then Goldilocks crash-landed and she made such a clatter,
That she woke up Sleeping Beauty and bumped into The Mad Hatter.
But Goldilocks was at the ball, with romance on her mind -
She dashed to meet Prince Charming, so handsome, sweet and kind.
The Prince was eating porridge, as he sat there on his throne.
The King was eating soup, that he had made just from a stone.
Goldilocks went over and asked "is that porridge too hot?
Because if it's 'just right,' I warn you; I might just scoff the lot!"
Then Prince Charming laughed out loud; he'd never heard anything dafter!
And it'll be no surprise to you, that they lived happily ever after."
By the time Dotty's Grandpa had finished his jumbled tale,
Dotty's eyes were always closed; his stories never failed.
And though he got things muddled up and his tales were all over the place,
Dotty always fell asleep with a big smile on her face.