Thursday, 12 February 2015

How Fifty Shades SHOULD Have Ended...

Last month, Cosmopolitan magazine ran a "fan-fiction" competition, trying to find the best Fifty Shades-inspired short story.  Needless to say, I am not a Fifty Shades fan, so my entry to their competition might not have been the hot, spicy piece of erotica they were anticipating.  Still, with today being the UK premiere of the Fifty Shades movie, I thought it was a good time to share my short story with you all.

And yes, the title was deliberately meant to make it sound like I might be a fan...  Well, how else would I convince Cosmo to read it?! ;-)

Laters, Baby

Double crap.  The soft click of the latch as I turn my key in the door is enough to start butterflies swarming in my stomach.  I grip on to Teddy's hand a little tighter.  He smiles up at me, with those big, grey-blue eyes - his copper hair glinting in the sunlight - and my heart sinks.  We're home.  I sigh and attempt to return Teddy's innocent smile.  He shouldn't have to know about any of this.

Christian is waiting in the hallway as we walk through the door.  Of course he is.  I glance at my watch.  We can't be late home; I was so careful!  I'm always so careful...

"What were you doing in Starbucks?"  He barks at me, his eyes alight with anger.

I force another smile.  "Starbucks?  Teddy and I went to the library, Christian.  I told you..."  Instinctively, I place one hand on my swollen belly and wrap my free arm around Teddy's shoulders.  protecting my children from their father was never something I expected to be doing in this "perfect" marriage of mine...

Christian rolls his eyes - a habit I have long since given up for my own good.  "I can track your cell phone, Anastasia," he says, through gritted teeth.  "I allowed you to go out without Taylor and this is how you repay my kindness?  With lies?!"

I squeeze Teddy's shoulders.  "Do you want to play in your room?"  As he rushes upstairs, I wonder how much of this he picks up on.  Too much, I'm sure.

"Now he's gone, you can tell me the truth."  Christian is pacing the floor now, running his long fingers through his hair.  I swallow hard as I look at him.  A man I once found so attractive, I simply refused to acknowledge his behaviour.  Everything about him was perfect in my eyes; his hair, his smile, even the way his pants hung from his hips, for crying out loud!  Now... I stare at the floor.

"I bumped into Kate in the library and she wanted to talk baby stuff.  She's due any day now, Christian.  And she's my best friend..."

"I thought you were dead."  Christian's eyes well up and he blinks rapidly at me.  I know this routine so well now that its effect on me has dwindled into nothing.

"You thought I was dead because I went to Starbucks?"  A bitter laugh escapes my lips before I can stop it.  Next thing I know, his hands are gripping my arms.  Holy shit.  I know better than that...

"You know what I've been through, Anastasia," Christian whines, continuing his act.  "Losing my mother, being an outsider, having Jack Hyde try his best to tear us apart...  How could you worry me like that?"  His grip on my arms is starting to hurt.  I glance down and notice my skin reddening beneath his fingers.

"I'm allowed to see my friends, Christian," I insist.  It's a lie of course.  With him, I'm not allowed to see anybody.  Not without his permission, first.  I sigh; once upon a time, I genuinely believed that he was trying to keep me safe.  All the false dramas seemed to justify the control he insisted on having over every aspect of my life.  I force myself to look into his eyes.  He really is fifty shades of fucked up.  "Kate hasn't seen me in six months, Christian.  My mom hasn't seen me in longer than that.  People are worried about me..."

Christian's nostrils flare as his grip on my arms becomes ever more uncomfortable.  "I do believe you're making my palm twitch..."

His words, which once sent desire throbbing through my body, send nothing but waves of revulsion up and down my spine.  I say one word.  A word he's not used to:  "No."

In one swift move, he has me against the front door.  "You do not get to say no to me," he hisses.  "You.  Are.  Mine."  Suddenly, with his face inches from my own, he begins to laugh.  "I love it when you stand up to me, Mrs Grey.  It gives me a chance to remind you of a few things."  With equal suddenness, he lets go of my arms and turns from me, pacing the floor and chuckling.  I glance down at the dark red fingermarks in my skin and I feel physically sick.

"I know where you are at all times," Christian says, breaking my thoughts.  He turns back to face me.  "I control your finances.  I know where every single member of your family and friends lives.  I can get you a job and I can lose you it just as fast."  The smile on his face has faded now and he's back to standing just inches away.  When I say you're mine, Anastasia Grey, I mean it.  And there's nothing you can do about it.  Do you understand me?"  His fingers gently tilt my head up to face him and his voice changes completely.  "I love you, that's all.  I want to protect you; you wouldn't be safe without me. And if my methods seem a little...unusual...well, it's hardly surprising, given the life I've led."  He leans in and kisses my lips.  My stomach heaves as I desperately fumble for the door knob behind me.  Christian breaks away and strokes a stray hair away from my face.  "You are mine."

The door swings open as I turn the handle behind my back.  Christian's eyes widen as he sees Taylor and Sawyer standing with Teddy, their faces etched with concern.  Genuine concern.  For me.  The thought swells my heart and gives me the courage to say what I need to.

"Not anymore."

I rush out of the house just as the police arrive to make the arrest.  I know that this is just the start of the battle - there will be enormous consequences to what I've done today.  But as I strap Teddy into the car and offer Taylor and Sawyer a grateful smile, I know that whatever mountain lies ahead, I am capable of climbing it,

I am free.


  1. I doubt it would have sold nearly as many copies but at least I can believe this one to be a love story... Although between a mother and her children

    1. True, sadly I think this wouldn't have been half as popular as the "romance" that EL James wrote!

  2. Let me just say, I much prefer this version!

  3. I haven't even read the books and this gave me chills!
    Much better I'm sure than what the original ending in the book is.
    Wonderful job!

    1. Thank you! The actual ending is... Yeah, not worth talking about. "Happy ever after" with bonus creepy overtones where Christian talks about his unborn baby liking sex...

  4. This was really good, and very well written. This is honestly how I could see things going with this story.

  5. I like it! They should make a movie out of your story!

  6. I stumbled onto this blog and stayed to read the "rant" about Fifty Shades that was so well done. The responses were mostly well thought out as well. I tried to leave this comment with the article where you dissected the books, rather the book and a half but was unsuccessful. (Happens to me sometimes when I am trying to leave a comment. Something about my wordpress blog.)
    But I want to thank you for a thoughtful dissection of these books. I, too, read them. I read all of them, all the way through. These books detail a severely abusive relationship where a man is in total control of the woman through intimidation, violence, economics, emotional and mental abuse.
    Abuse is NOT romantic. Healthy relationships, whether or not they include BDSM, allow BOTH parties to maintain ultimate control of their own bodies and lives; allow the maintenance of relationships with people outside of their primary relationship; allows and fosters growth of both parties.
    Domestic violence ISOLATES the victim. The ABUSER maintains all of the control of both of them. All relationships outside of the victim's relationship with the abuser is cut off in one way or another. The abuser NEVER accepts responsibility. Whatever bad happens is always the victim's fault.
    Fifty Shades is a trilogy that applauds domestic violence, and rape.
    You are a brave woman to stand up and speak out. It is time to end the silence that only allows rape to be normalized.
    Love your ending of the Fifty Shades trilogy!

    1. Thank you so much for your comment! I'm glad you re-posted it here, because to be honest, that other blog entry has had so many comments that it's pretty much impossible to keep up and reply to them all, even though I want to! So I'm especially pleased to be able to read this one and I agree wholeheartedly - Fifty Shades romanticises abuse. And that can never be right.

  7. How I wish Cosmo would print your story! Pretty unlikely though, sigh. At least somebody there had to read it. Good on you for writing it and sending it in. You rock! <3

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    1. Decided it was bad form to list my fledgling blog here. Sorry. To reiterate the rest... I was cheering for A in your ending. I have not seen much post movie raving (there was certainly tons before hand). Hoping sitting there in the darkened theater, many eyes were opened.

  9. I *wish* it had ended this way. I love all your rants about these books, they are so spot on. I remember when I read them I kept hoping she'd stand up for herself, but it never happened. If I'd known them what they were fan fiction of I'd have known better than to expect it. I hated the twilight books because of how they romanticized Edward and his insane controlling behavior and they romanticized Jacob forcing her into kissing him. That is abuse, it is molestation and it's disgusting. If I had known these were fan fiction of that, I never would have read them. I just got a lot of recommendations at the office, so I read them. It made me physically sick, I was married to that guy and it was hell. And it doesn't end happily ever after. It ends with him trying to kill you.


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