So, we've reached the end of January! This month is always a strange one. By the time you reach the end of it, you feel certain that it must have lasted at least seven weeks, and yet you're also stunned that February is already upon you. Not to mention, there will be people who, on January 25th, felt compelled to post "ONLY ELEVEN MONTHS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!" all over social media...
I sat this morning, staring at a blank screen, wondering what to write about and, as is my wont, I inevitably started thinking back to this time last year. Life was in a massively different place, at the end of January 2017. So much so, that comparing seems unfair. It would be like producing a smoothie made of dog poo and toenail clippings and placing it next to a really delicious chocolate malt shake and asking me which one I'd rather drink.
Regular readers may be aware of my fervent love of chocolate malt shakes. And, er, even new readers should probably be aware that I don't tend to consume dog poo, as a general rule...
I've also started to realise that when I look back over the events of 2017, it's less a case of wistfully gazing over my shoulder, these days and more one of rubber-necking at a particularly horrific car crash. I find that emotional outbursts of "I'm still so saaaaad" have been replaced with a stunned: HOW did I get out of that alive?!"
Case in point: this morning, as I was doing that half-curious, half-masochistic thing of checking Facebook's On This Day feature, I spotted a photo of me and a girl who was once one of the closest people on the planet, to me. It was actually a very old picture, from one of our first ever days out, together. And the first thing I thought upon seeing it was: "Man, I miss that hairband I'm wearing in this photo."
Go me?
I've said this a lot, especially in the last six months, so I don't want to repeat myself like a BBC Christmas schedule, but life is about rebuilding. It's about filling the gaps and strengthening your foundations, even after the most traumatic of personal earthquakes.
My plan for 2018 was always to get to a point where I'm no longer looking back over my shoulder (as much as I like Mike & The Mechanics). It feels refreshing to have my eyes firmly fixed on the present and the future, rather than sullenly locked on the past.
I had a few goals to achieve in the first few weeks of 2018 and I feel like I'm on track with them, so far:
I told myself I'd join the ladies barbershop chorus I did a singing course with last year and I have (passed my audition, joined the committee and everything - they're well and truly stuck with me, now!).
I told myself I was going to branch out and meet new people this year and thanks to the above band of awesome singing ladies, I can tick that one off, too!
I told myself I'd spend more time with the friends I'd not seen anywhere near enough of due to my general wallowing throughout the first half of 2017 and I think it's fair to say I'm doing pretty well with that (my lovely friend Louise has even seen me scoff way too much pizza and then dramatically perform a song from Les Mis this month, so...result?! Possibly for me more than her...).
I mean, I told myself I'd find a new job and improve my non-existent love life as well, but you know... I guess you can't have everything all at once...
My point is, whilst January has been a long month and the endless rain we've had down here in Cornwall has had me seriously considering building an Ark, it's actually been a pretty successful month, in terms of achievements. Of course, saying all of this could bring forth some kind of harbinger of doom, to defecate all over the month of February, but... Fingers crossed not, eh?!
I hope your 2018 is going okay so far. And if it's not? Have a look at what needs to change and get rebuilding. I promise you, it'll be worth it.
