My Top Ten Crazy Ex Girlfriend Songs

Around 2-3 years ago, my sister and sister-in-law were visiting and had gone into the kitchen to watch something.  I could hear them laughing to the point that I became determined to find out just what was so funny.  After I joined them in the kitchen, they showed me what it was that they were watching; a musical comedy show called Crazy Ex Girlfriend.  They were on episode two and the song that caused so much mirth was called I'm So Good At Yoga.  I watched it with them and by the end of that one song, I was completely and utterly hooked.

Last night, after four seasons of sheer brilliance, Crazy Ex Girlfriend reached its finale.  A show that started off as a slightly oddball pastiche of romantic comedy, about a woman named Rebecca uprooting her life to chase down her first love and win him back, had ended up becoming a raw and yet ultimately uplifting portrayal of mental health problems, a beacon of feminism and inclusivity and a heartwarming display of the many different forms of love we find in our everyday lives.  If it sounds a little ridiculous to say that my life is better for having discovered the show, so be it.  It's true.

Crazy Ex Girlfriend took comedy tropes and turned them on their heads.  It used music to deliver jokes and communicate ideas fresher and braver than many shows dare to put out into the world.  The cast were mind-boggling in their talents - this was no mere acting job.  This was an ensemble who danced and sang in a whole host of styles.  Over the course of 4 seasons, over 150 songs in a wide variety of genres were gifted to us and it's for that reason that the only way I can truly explain how much this show means to me and just why it's so amazing, is to go through some of those songs right now.  Besides, I can't resist a top ten list...

10) "I Have Friends"

So, a few months after I got really into Crazy Ex Girlfriend, some stuff started going on in my life.  A stupid argument with one friend led to the implosion of my entire friendship group and shortly afterwards, I realised the person I'd spent years referring to as my "best friend" was...  REALLY not.  Like... A whole lot of "NOT."

Being the kind of weirdo who mercilessly mocks my own tragedies in life as a kind of bizarre coping mechanism, I took to singing this song to myself as a way of distracting my mind from the fact that I kind of... didn't have friends.  Which, you know, is essentially what Rebecca is doing in this song.  

Sarcastically singing "I have friends, I DEFINITELY have friends" was just a thing I did to get through a bad situation.   And it worked!  I'll always have a soft spot for it, as a result.  Also, just like Rebecca realises she very much does have an incredible new support network of friends as the series continues, so I went on to realise I wasn't friendless, after all.  Hooray!

I Have Friends, I DEFINITELY have friends!

9) "Let's Have Intercourse"

Whilst we naturally focus on Rebecca and her character development across the four seasons, it's important to remember that one of the awesome things about Crazy Ex Girlfriend is the way it constantly develops the other characters in the show, too.

When we meet Nathaniel, he is hard, uncompromising and seemingly uncaring.  Only once he is brought off his pedestal (by a bout of diarrhoea, because duh, of course that's what it took) and eventually realises his strange crush on Rebecca is actually love (that plot line is not connected to any bowel functions...), does he start to change as a person.  And what's perfect is that he changes willingly, originally purely because he thinks only by becoming a nicer person will Rebecca want to be with him, but ultimately because he realises he's happier in all areas of his life when he does make the effort to be a better man.  By the end of the final season, he's almost unrecognisable from the emotionless taskmaster he entered the show as.

Crazy Ex Girlfriend does pastiches of well known songs and singers extraordinarily well and this song is a perfectly pitched play on Thinking Out Loud, by Ed Sheeran, but without any of the romance.  As a result, it's both hilarious and somehow instantly familiar, even the very first time you hear it.  And as for Rachel Bloom's ballet dancing... Wow.  I mean, I know I have a super massive crush on her and I'm therefore biased, but the girl knocks it out of the park.

I won't be back to normal til I see what your nipples look like...

...They're probably straightforward nipples.

8) "A Boyband Made Up of Four Joshes"

In season one of Crazy Ex Girlfriend, Rebecca's psyche is often explored through her reminiscing over events from her childhood and early teens.  In episode three, she recalls inviting everyone from school to come over and watch a boy band concert on pay per view at her house.  Distressingly for young Rebecca, very few kids show up and when they do, they witness the breakdown of her parents' marriage, explaining why adult Rebecca has some pretty major issues with abandonment, lack of a reliable male figure in her life and the prospect of throwing parties...

Of course, at this party, Josh turns up and Rebecca instantly believes it's his presence (and not all the background work Paula's done to ensure plenty of people actually come...) that makes it a success.  She dreamily revisits the pay per view boy band concert she never got to see, only in her own private fantasy, every member of the band is Josh.  Now, having been a  big fan of boy bands when I was growing up (and...er... I quite like them now, too...), I'm not about to suggest that anyone who enjoys a boy band has some mental health issues they need to address, but I do love the fact that in this song, the boy band is very much presented as a non-threatening entity, where all four members are offering to "fix" Rebecca's problems.  Not only does it tie in to the fantasy a lot of young girls have (holding my hands up to this one) about the "perfect" member of a boy band being the ideal person who'd understand them and love them the right way (not like real guys, who might hurt them...), but it also neatly continues to emphasise Rebecca's delusional insistence that she requires the love of this one specific person in order to make her better, rather than working on fixing herself.

The song is also catchy as heck!

Baby you can kiss all your unexplained symptoms goodbye,

you're never gonna miss all those nightmares in which you tend to die...

7) "You're My Best Friend (And I Know I'm Not Yours)"

Crazy Ex Girlfriend has always been a fantastic analyser of relationships, be they romantic or otherwise.  Whereas Rebecca's obsessive nature and often over-the-top feelings for her romantic interests was one of the main themes of the show, other characters and their relationships were usually given a fair amount of airtime, too.  Darryl, originally Rebecca's boss in the show, is a favourite of mine, because (again, I hold my hands up) I often find that I identify with him.  

Darryl is unashamed about his feelings and he finds it hard to keep them in.  He loves completely and the people he loves are exceptionally important to him.  Before Rebecca comes along, he lives quite happily, believing his workmate Paula is his best friend.  Then Rebecca enters the equation and she and Paula have such an intense level of closeness, it's difficult for Darryl to get much of a look in.  His feelings towards Paula don't change, but it's clear that she thinks of Rebecca as a much closer friend than he is.  The trouble is, Darryl isn't great at stepping back and making Paula feel comfortable.  He has a few boundary issues and whilst they come from a good place - loving and caring about the people in his life - they can serve to make people feel a little uncomfortable (I'm hoping this isn't something we share...).  So, this song is Darryl's way of recognising that he's perhaps not as important to Paula as he wishes he was, but that that doesn't have to change the way he feels about her and she doesn't need to feel bad about it.

Also, being that I am someone who loves completely and finds it hard to keep my feelings in, but who also self-analyses a lot and isn't as kind to myself as I possibly should be, I can massively identify with the idea of having to say "sure, I adore you but I realise you probably adore other people more."  Tragic?  Kinda.  

"That's why I love you like a sister 

and you love me like a second cousin..."

6) "I Hate Everything But You"

At this point, picking songs and ordering them has gotten hard.  In a lot of ways, this should be top three, but it's landed at number six and I had to bump a lot of songs I like, along the way.

When Skylar Astin arrived in season four, taking over the role of Greg from Santino Fontana, I had some... feelings.  I had shipped "Grebecca" hard and I'd spent two thirds of season two and all of season three wishing that Greg would come back and that they'd eventually get back together, but that was all based on the original Greg.  Having him back and it being a different actor felt weird for a while.

But Skylar is a great actor and singer and his portrayal of a slightly more easy-going Greg (believe it or not, given this song!) was hard to resist.  Greg, with his enormous walls around himself and his habit of snarkily criticising things, was always the antithesis of Rebecca and her overly-emotional, almost childlike naivety and this song proved that Skylar Astin's portrayal of the character was just as true to who Greg really was as Santino Fontana's version in seasons one and two.

Rebecca's high level of enthusiasm for things that others might deem merely "okay" is something I very much identify with.  I get ludicrously excited about things and it's definitely fair to say I sometimes feel things a bit too much.  So I understood her disappointment at Greg not being as ecstatic about their day trip to a water park as she hoped he might be.  That said, I think this song is rather beautiful in its own way and I feel like if someone wanted to serenade me with it, I'd probably melt!

I hate the phrase "love conquers all" 

and I hate that it's true.

5) "Friendtopia"

Crazy Ex Girlfriend does an incredible job of exploring the ways that friendships can affect our lives just as much as any other kind of relationship, and it often uses the friendships the characters have as a mirror to their behaviour in their romantic attachments.  For example, the way Rebecca tries to force Valencia and Heather into her idea of what a "girl group" should be is hugely similar to the way she desperately tries to squeeze her love life into her own unrealistic fantasy of what romance is.  In a lot of ways, the season 2 episode that contains the song Friendtopia is difficult to watch, as Rebecca attempts to engineer two women who've openly confessed to not having had a lot of close female friends in the past, into being her new "squad," whilst also failing to recognise that in doing so, she's massively alienating her best friend, Paula.  It's a clever way of highlighting that Rebecca's mental health issues don't only affect her romantic relationships, as well as being a reminder that friendships are better when they're not forced.  Rebecca's behaviour risks causing the end of the friendship she has with Paula, simply because it doesn't fit her pop-culture-influenced mental image of what female friendship is supposed to look like.

Also, this song sounds like the Spice Girls and takes the concept of "Girl Power" to slightly scary places.  Which will never fail to amuse me.

All citizens must watch Hocus Pocus, or they will be killed.

ZIG-A-ZOW!

4) "It Was A Shit Show"

This song marks the first time (very much not the last) that Crazy Ex Girlfriend made me cry.  I mentioned earlier that I was very much Team Grebecca and despite the hugely dysfunctional nature of their relationship, I held out a lot of hope that they'd eventually settle into something lasting and healthy.  Greg's perfectly sensible decision to call it off and go to business school in an attempt to get his life back on track, having admitted to being an alcoholic, was one that was hard to argue with, however.  Santino Fontana was also one hell of a singer and the emotion in his voice during that last refrain "I won't regret this beautiful, heart-stopping, breathtaking, life-changing..." broke me.

It's a huge credit to the show's songwriters (Rachel Bloom, Jack Dolgen and Adam Schlesinger) that this song manages to so perfectly encapsulate the tugging of the heartstrings that takes place when you know you have to end something for your own good, despite knowing that it's going to hurt like hell to walk away.  I'm putting the original show-version of this song as a link, because Santino's version is gorgeous and fully deserves to be heard, but I'd urge you all to seek out Rachel Bloom's live tour version, because DAMN.

Not to be crass,

but this sucked ass.

This was a shit show.

3) "Getting Bi"

Okay, let's get emotionally honest.  

First things first: if there was a couple on Crazy Ex Girlfriend who I shipped even harder than Greg and Rebecca, it was, without question, Darryl and White Josh.  

Darryl is a divorcee, who thinks he's 100% straight.  So, when he starts to connect with White Josh, he thinks it's purely as a friend until, after helping him clean up following a party, White Josh kisses him on the cheek and winks as he leaves.  This causes Darryl to openly question what it might mean and whether he's got to look at himself in a whole new light.  He tries to tactfully find out whether White Josh is gay, by asking why they call him White Josh and not Gay Josh (way to go, Darryl!) and is stunned when White Josh laughs and says it's not like people call him "Old Gay Darryl."  Darryl insists that he's straight, but the fact is, he's obviously intrigued and excited by the idea that White Josh might like him.  There are full-on butterflies and loaded looks and it's just too adorable for words.  Eventually, Darryl realises that he's bisexual - a fact he never cottoned on to until he was middle-aged and is therefore pretty stunned by.  But Darryl being Darryl, he's also not someone who can hide his feelings.  He quickly tells White Josh about how excited he is to be "out" and when White Josh suggests he try some gay dating apps, Darryl gushes that he won't find anyone he likes as much as him.

AAAAAAAAAAW.

Getting Bi is not only a massively catchy Huey Lewis pastiche, but it's just perfectly played on a variety of levels.  Firstly, it's very on-brand for Darryl.  Of course he would feel the need to gleefully dance around, telling everyone about his sexuality whether they want to know or not.  Secondly, the reaction from everyone is perfect.  They're not remotely bothered.  They've been encouraging and helpful and nobody has seemed remotely fazed by the fact that their "straight" friend is agonising over his feelings for a guy.  The only thing that riles them is that their boss is singing "yes I like sex" in the middle of a work meeting.

Now, I watched that episode at a fairly important time.  As I mentioned at the start of this countdown, I got really into this show when I was going through a rough period with friends... well, not being friends, anymore.  Something that came out of that whole thing was that a girl I knew at the time offered to be a support, over the internet.  We'd talk every 2-3 days for an hour or so and she'd just check in on me and see if I was okay.  I didn't really think anything of it, until I realised how much I was looking forward to hearing from her.  And how pretty I thought she was.  And how much she made me smile.  Eventually, I asked myself a very simple question: If she asked me out, what would I say?  And I realised the answer was a resounding yes.  It suddenly didn't matter to me that she was a woman and I'd only ever been with guys and only ever imagined myself with a guy.  I figured her gender would be too small a reason to turn her down, given how much I liked her.  There'd be no harm in going on a date with her, just to see.

She never asked me out and I never told her how I felt.  And given all the crap that was going on in my life at the time, I didn't quite have the emotional capacity to deal with what this newfound revelation might actually mean about me as a person, so I sort of... Pushed it out of my thoughts.

Until around ten months later when I had that feeling "like glitter was exploding inside me" (to borrow a quote from the show I'm meant to be discussing) and that feeling was caused by locking eyes with a woman I was just instantly attracted to.  That was when I started to admit to myself that actually, yes, I was bisexual.  And that that was fine.  No biggie.

Seeing LGBT representation - specifically bisexual representation - provided so perfectly in Crazy Ex Girlfriend was a big deal for me and that was compounded in season 3, when Valencia - again, someone who considered herself completely straight and had only ever been interested in guys - met Beth and instantly "clicked" with her, then when the show did an "eight months later..." time jump, the pair were shown sitting, holding hands and clearly very much in love.  And just like with Darryl, nobody batted an eyelid.  Valencia had fallen for someone who was right for her.  That person's gender was completely irrelevant.

The message Crazy Ex Girlfriend sent out with these two storylines was that you can think you're one thing, only to meet someone who makes you realise you're something else entirely.  And that that doesn't have to be something frightening, or shocking.  It's just about meeting someone you click with and realising that love doesn't always take the form you expect it to.  You are who you are and that's fine.

God, I love this show.

I don't care if you wear high heels or a tie,

you might just catch my eye because I'm definitely bi.

2) "You Stupid Bitch"

In a lot of ways, Rebecca Bunch is an anti-hero.  She's a hugely troubled individual, whose actions are often questionable at best.  In the episode from which this song is taken, she crosses a huge line and goes from "quirky girl driven to bad choices by her naive belief in happy ever afters" to "actually borderline psychotic."  Having broken into Josh's apartment to delete a text she sent him by mistake, she's mortified when he finds her there and she has to make a quick excuse.  Lying that someone threw a rock through her window and she was too afraid to be at home alone, Rebecca is put on the spot when Josh offers to go back to her place with her and she's forced to call Paula and beg her best friend to put a rock through the window before she and Josh get back home.  The trouble is, the rock in question turns out to be a decorative rock that Paula's husband took from Rebecca's coffee table, whilst nipping into the apartment to use the bathroom.  Josh quickly realises that the rock came from inside the apartment and questions everything that has happened, eventually leaving Rebecca alone and devastated.  She tries to fall back on Greg, who happens to be passing by, but he's determined not to let himself get close to her again and Rebecca ends up spiralling into self-pity, realising she's "ruined everything."

Whilst I'd like to think I've never done anything as stereotypically "crazy" as the events leading up to this song, I can empathise with feeling like you've done something monumentally stupid and ruined everything.  I'm someone who beats herself up over the tiniest little thing and I've been known to attend the odd private pity party for myself.  This song has, therefore, become my go-to tune when I'm feeling especially down on myself and fancy wallowing for a bit.  It's a very pretty ballad and it perfectly encapsulates that angry-sad feeling of "well, I'm the worst human ever."

Bitch.  You're a stupid bitch.  

And lose some weight.

1) Face Your Fears

Paula Proctor is an absolute badass.  Yes, she's also a deeply flawed character in a lot of ways, given the huge amount of insane stuff we find out she's done in order to help Rebecca win Josh, over the course of the first season.  She pours all of her energy into her best friend's love life, rather than face her dissatisfaction with her own marriage, her career and her family life, for a long time, which is...  Less than healthy.

But Paula is fiercely loyal, tough, smart, funny and someone who you would absolutely want fighting your corner for you.  Besides which, Donna Lynne Champlin has one of the best voices on the whole show, combined with some of the greatest comic timing, both of which combine to make Face Your Fears my absolute favourite song from the show.  The advice she gives in the song is unquestionably bad, but even having heard it dozens of times, it still makes me laugh.  It was also only the second song I ever heard from the show and it takes me straight back to sitting in my kitchen with my sister and sister-in-law, marvelling at the amazing TV series we'd just discovered.

And just like that, this blog has gone full-circle.

If a bear runs at you in the woods, don't run away.

Look it deep in the eyes, put your hand on its chest and say

"BEAR, I'M NOT AFRAID!"

There's not much more I can say, other than thank you to Rachel Bloom and Aline Brosh McKenna for creating this incredible TV show.  For giving the world something that picks apart stereotypes and portrays mental health problems realistically, even though that sometimes means it's uncomfortable to watch.  For showing female sexuality as an empowering thing and female friendships as something beyond the usual sitcom trope of "the girls," drinking wine and giggling on the sofa.  For making it blatantly obvious that a person can fall in love with anyone, regardless of gender and regardless of the way that person might have previously identified, sexually.  For giving us characters who are believable, with massive flaws and ridiculous ideas, as well as all the things that make them loveable. 

And I should add that several songs I love didn't make this list, purely because I would have been here all night, doing a top fifty.  So, special mentions to:


Let's Generalise About Men

Dream Ghost

Group Hang

We'll Never Have Problems Again

Ping Pong Girl

And so many other songs.  Just...  Go watch the show.

You won't regret it.

Cor, Look At The Sense of Humour On HIM!

Why not begin with an image that makes me giggle?!

Go on any dating site and you'll find hundreds of people all saying the same thing in their profile information: they're looking for someone with a good sense of humour.

I was no different, either of the times I signed up for online dating.  In fact "someone who makes me laugh" is amongst the very first things I say when asked what I'm looking for in a partner.  Life can be hard and laughter is not only a nice bonus from time to time, but as far as I'm concerned, it's pretty bloody crucial.  In my family, we laugh at the bad as well as the good; I suppose it's a coping mechanism, really, but it works for us.

Laughter makes us forget our own personal troubles, or at least minimises the pain they're causing us at that particular moment.  Laughter relaxes us and is medically proven to have health benefits - when we laugh, we feel good.  It's no wonder that so many of us refer to ourselves as looking for someone with a good sense of humour to share our lives with - who would want a partner you can't laugh with?

Of course, laughter isn't just healthy or fun.  It's also sexy.  Let's be honest; if someone makes you laugh, they often become more attractive in your eyes as a result.  Why?  Well, I'm not about to get all science-y on your ass, but I'm fairly sure that it probably has something to do with a rush of endorphins, or the general sense of being more relaxed around someone we can have a good giggle with.  Plus, funny people often seem confident, entertaining and interesting to talk to or hang out with - all attractive qualities.

Going right back to my childhood, a lot - and I mean a lot - of my celebrity crushes have been on stand up comedians or comic actors.  Two of my earliest crushes were (and you can mock if you like) the late great Robin Williams, because he made me laugh in some of my favourite films, and Chris Barrie (he of the gif at the top of this page), because he played my favourite character in one of my favourite sitcoms (Red Dwarf).  Years later, once I was in my teens, my most-fancied male member of the cast of Friends usually rotated depending on which of them I felt had had the funniest lines in recent episodes.

I went through a BIG Chandler phase.

Fast forward a few more years and I got really into stand-up comedy.  It began with a Sunday morning radio show on 6Music, hosted by the comedian Russell Howard.  I had seen Russell on TV and thought he was strangely cute (I am Mistress of The Back-Handed Compliment, clearly), but listening to him on the radio week after week led to me developing something of a crush.  I travelled to see him perform in a comedy club in Bristol and I absolutely fell in love.  Not with Russell Howard himself, but with stand-up.

There's something genuinely fantastic about live, stand-up comedy.  The way you can walk into a comedy club after a hellish journey through terrible traffic, take off your coat, settle into your seat and be helpless with laughter minutes later never ceases to amaze me.  Your shoulders feel lighter almost as soon as the first big belly laugh happens.  Stand-up, done well, feels intimate, no matter how big the venue.  You're listening to a person tell you about their life.  You're being allowed access to someone's thoughts and opinions.  You feel as though you're collectively sharing views, even though you haven't said a word - and that's because a good comedian can capture those little moments that we all share and make you feel somehow included in their world as they spin anecdotes, or go off on a rant.  Of course, the more uplifted, happy and relaxed you feel in that environment, the more you want to go.  I wanted to go a lot.  The more I went, the more I began to have my favourites, of the many performers I saw.

And I saw a lot of people in small clubs just 7 or 8 years ago, who are hugely well known, today.  Sarah Millican, Greg Davies, Josh Widdicombe and Jon Richardson, to name but a few.  Aah, Jon Richardson.  I admit it; that was a crush on a comedian that made me ever so slightly insane for a while.

I must have seen Jon at least a dozen times.  He originally co-hosted the aforementioned 6Music show that unwittingly kick-started my love affair with stand-up, before Russell Howard left and Jon took over completely.  Back in those days, I had so many texts read out on his show, that for a long time, complete strangers on the internet would refer to me as "THE Emma from Cornwall."  Jon himself occasionally waited to say hello after gigs and, given that I was single and so was he, I was was even so bold as to slip him my number in a card, once.  A decision which I now realise was probably ridiculously stupid, seeing as he was on his way to television stardom and I was just a very average-looking fan.  Like I said, I'd gone slightly mad, at that point.  I mistook polite friendliness for genuine interest and I'm saying this openly, because when I take the piss out of obsessive fans who tattoo band-members' names on themselves, or who threaten to kill themselves if One Direction don't return following their planned split, I'm doing so with knowledge of what it feels like to have that one thing (or person) in your life that you pour all of your energy into, regardless of whether you get anything back, purely because that one thing (or person) is the only thing that makes you feel good.  And I also know how it feels to come out the other side and realise you're attaching meaning to something that doesn't mean anything at all and that maybe your actual life needs looking at, before you start thinking that that that one thing (or person) is all that matters.  Thank God the worst I ever did was slip him my number.  Imagine if I'd had "Jon" tattooed in a heart somewhere about my person?!  It doesn't bear thinking about.  Take it from me; if you have an urge to do something that stupid to "honour" a celebrity crush, then please just give your wallet and bank cards to a responsible adult until you've realised how silly that idea is.  Because it is.  "This too, shall pass" and all that.

Undoubtedly the worst I've ever looked.  

I suppose what I'm saying here, in my time-honoured rambly way, is that I attached a deeper meaning to this particular crush because, in a weird and possibly vain-sounding way, he reminded me of myself.  I was painfully shy; he was saying he was, too. I was going through a rather neurotic phase; he was known for being neurotic.  But whilst these things got me down, there was this very handsome bloke, standing up on stage and getting people to laugh about them.  It seemed like such a positive way of dealing with what I'd always seen as my faults, that I guess I felt that Jon spoke for me as much as for himself and that created this bizarre sensation that maybe he'd "get" me in a way that others hadn't.  Like I said earlier, good stand-up feels intimate and there are few things more intimate than feeling like a stranger is talking with your mouth.

So, I, as a comedy fan, was perhaps "not done cooking," as my friend Lizzie and I like to say.   I was still lacking life experience and a certain level of maturity; I didn't have the same confidence in myself that I have now (and, ironically, that would crash completely before I ever would have it to this current, occasionally shaky degree).  What I'm trying to say is that comedy came into my life at a time when I needed it.  I was a bit low; not living the life I wanted to live and unsure of what to do about it.  I coped by laughing about it and in comedy clubs, I found a place full of people, many of whom were doing the exact same thing.  Laughing at the things that torture us is a common coping technique and not only were many of the people I went to gigs with back then battling their own demons, but many of the comics we saw on stage were, too.  

The link between comedy and tragedy is well known; we need only look at the fate of one of my first loves, the brilliant Robin Williams.  Yet, in a strange way, I think that link between laughter and sadness only served to strengthen my love of comedy and indeed, my propensity to form crushes on comedians (because Jon Richardson may have been a big crush, but he was really just one in a long line...).

I'm sensitive and I've had my own issues to deal with over the years.  Recognising sensitivity, or a tendency towards self-doubt in others is something of a skill of mine.  I tend to gravitate towards people who understand what it's like to brood or overthink something; people whose minds are always ticking over.  I've known a few people who've tried their hands at stand-up and they've always been the people whose brains seem wired similarly to mine.

Then there's the fact that I enjoy letting other people take centre stage if they have that kind of personality where they feel the need to be "the funny one," yet I equally like making my own friends laugh.  And, of course, I look to seek out people who will be on board with my rather black-humour when it comes to taking the piss out of something horrible.  We all deal with things differently, but that's definitely one of my major coping mechanisms and when I recognise it in another person, for some reason it attracts me to them.  I think I've also got a very caring nature and something of a need to be needed, if that makes sense.  If someone has got a sensitive side and they do hide behind their smile, I not only know what that feels like, but I want to support them, because I know how vital it is to feel cared for when you're in a dark place.  Add to that the fact that I genuinely do feel as though life is too strange, too silly and and too painful to be taken seriously all of the time and you've kind of got why "good sense of humour" is something that will always be near the top of my list of attributes I look for in a partner - and why it's important to so many others, too.

Yes, if you can make me laugh - whether it's by making a sarcastic aside, being quick with a pun (God, I love a good pun) or by doing something silly just to get a reaction - then we're off to a good start.  I'll feel relaxed, I'll be smiling and let's face it, we all get a confidence boost when someone laughs at our silly jokes, so you'll be feeling good, too.

It'll be no surprise to anyone reading this that it's a comedian who currently tops my "celebrity crush" list.  In case you're interested, it's this one:

If he had to click his fingers every time I had a mildly dirty thought about him, his hand would eventually fall off.

Josh Widdicombe is very funny, is a similar age to me (so makes references to things from my youth, making me feel that "ooh, I can identify with you" thing that is also SO attractive), has proved on The Last Leg that he has a strong moral compass and is generally very bloody cute.  It's a testament to how cute that it took me about fifteen minutes to type that last sentence, because I kept being transfixed by the gif above it.  Click that sexy finger, Josh.  Aaaand that's the weirdest sentence I've ever written.

I doubt there'll ever come a day when comedy isn't something that means a lot to me.  Whether it's switching on a sitcom guaranteed to make me laugh, or booking tickets to go and see a favourite stand-up live, it's unlikely I'll ever lose my love of comedy in any form.  After all, we all need a good giggle now and then.  And as long as a sense of humour is so vital to me, I'll just carry on fancying the pants off guys who can make me laugh, too.

wibble.

Bring Me Sunshine... (Why I Will ALWAYS Love Morecambe & Wise)

I have always loved comedy.  There was a time in my life where it seemed like every other weekend, I would disappear to some comedy club or other, to see what the stand ups were like there.  When comedy is good, it can make you forget your troubles and you can experience the wonderful freedom of simply letting go and laughing out loud.

I like all sorts of comedy, really.  Of course there are some styles I dislike and some comedians I just don't find funny, but for the most part, I'll give anything a try, from acerbic stand-up, to parody songs, to modern-day sitcoms.

My love of comedy came, as so much of my great loves have, from my childhood.  My sister and I watched a lot of the stuff our parents (and their parents) liked.  We giggled at Carry On films, we watched so many episodes of Dad's Army that we could practically quote scenes and we were introduced, via BBC repeats, to the magic that was Morecambe and Wise.

Eric Morecambe (born John Eric Bartholomew) and Ernie Wise (born Ernest Wiseman) had been child performers on the old UK variety scene.  Eventually, they'd teamed up (whilst still only in their teens) and formed a double-act, which went on to become quite probably the greatest comedy double-act the UK - and possibly the world - has ever seen.  Their television shows attracted enormous audiences 

and their Christmas specials were absolutely not to be missed, featuring big-name stars of stage and screen, practically queueing up to make fun of themselves.  

Tom Jones found himself equipped with a new pair of backing singers...

Of course, the days of Morecambe and Wise dominating the Christmas schedules are, sadly, long gone.  Eric Morecambe suffered his third heart attack in 1984, as he left the stage at the Roses Theatre in Tewkesbury.  He died a few hours later, aged just 58.  Ernie Wise was devastated at the loss of his oldest and dearest friend and, heartbreakingly, read the lyrics to "Bring Me Sunshine" (the song the double act were famous for singing at the end of their shows) as a eulogy to his comedy partner.  Although he outlived Eric and appeared on stage and television, Ernie suffered a series of mini strokes and heart problems in the years following his partner's death.  He passed away in 1999, aged 73.

So it is, that Morecambe and Wise are something of a memory, now.  But what a memory.

In today's hectic, sharp-tongued world, there are, it seems, hundreds of comedians out there, just waiting to tell us what they dislike about modern life.  And of course, there's nothing wrong with that.  As I said, I find all kinds of different comedy entertaining and I can definitely get on board with the ranty, putting-the-world-to-rights style of many of today's stand-ups.  But Morecambe and Wise weren't about that.  They weren't wanting to moan about the cost of living, or go off on a political rant.  These were two men from a variety hall background - they wanted to sing, dance, tell jokes and make people smile.  They wanted to entertain.

Unlike many modern comics, Morecambe and Wise had no intention of resorting to cruelty or mockery without purpose.  When a guest star was made fun of, the audience could tell that it was never being done with any kind of malice.  It was, simply, just funny.  When the famous conductor & composer, Andre Previn appeared as a guest, he was constantly referred to as "Andrew Preview" and Eric Morecambe delighted in seemingly frustrating Previn with his deliberately bad piano playing.  Whilst Previn was undoubtedly the stooge for Eric and Ernie's comedy, he was never personally insulted or put down.  In fact, his rather superb (and unexpected) comic skills instead meant that the "Andrew Preview sketch" has gone down in history as one of Morecambe and Wise's greatest moments.

Presenting: "Andrew Preview" in all his glory.

Eric and Ernie sometimes told a risque joke, or alluded to adult themes, but they were never, ever crude and their shows were free from bad language, meaning the whole family could enjoy them together.  There was no need for cussing or insulting anyone - they were just happy to make people laugh by doing something silly; performing with the kind of genuine warmth for one another, as well as for their craft and their audience, that endeared them to viewers in their millions.  

Eric and Ernie may have mocked one another on stage, but the many years of friendship behind their eventual television success always shone through and you never felt that the pair were anything but mates as well as colleagues.  Their lampooning of one another simply came across as the kind of harmless banter that is inevitable between two people who know one another very well.  From Ernie's despair at Eric's supposed lack of intelligence, or appreciation for the finer things in life, to Eric's mocking of Little Ern's height and his constant insistence that Ernie wore a wig ("but you can't see the join!"), the pair were always happy to be the butt of their own jokes.

Yes, when you watch some episodes back, a little of the humour is dated.  But there is something genuinely wonderful about stepping back into a time when comedy was simply for fun, without trying to spread a message or cut anyone to the quick.  When you watch Morecambe and Wise, you can see the love for performing that Eric and Ernie both had, as well as the immense skill they had in doing the job.  It's not hard to imagine the enormous amount of work that went into making a show that was adored by millions, yet the boys managed to make it look effortless.

Sometimes, we don't want to think about anything too deeply; we just want to switch off and have a bit of a laugh.  And that's what Morecambe and Wise gave us.  A chance for a good belly-laugh.  An opportunity to enter a world of silliness and fun, in which of course two guys would choreograph an entire dance routine whilst making breakfast!

I was talking about Morecambe and Wise to someone the other day and I described an evening in, watching their old Christmas specials, as being like "a really big, squishy hug."  It's heart-warming.   It's hilarious without being nasty.  It's silly.  It is, at its heart, just very, very funny.  It was after that conversation that I decided to use one of my weekly bedtime stories here on my blog, to pay tribute to the boys.

I may have only been eighteen months old when the world lost Eric Morecambe, but I grew up watching him and Ernie and loving them.  And now, three decades later, they're still bringing me sunshine.

Not Laughing: Why I Have An Issue With Rape "Jokes."

Martin Freeman is, it's safe to say, something of a household name.  Most of us know him from either The Hobbit or Sherlock and his popularity as an actor has never really been in doubt.  Recently, however, he gave an interview to promote the latest in the Hobbit series of films and made a "joke" that has made it difficult for me to see him in the same light.

When asked about dating an elf and the difficulties in having a relationship with a shorter creature, he responded:  

"I've got a ladder.  It's fine.  And I've got drugs.  I could make them - you know.  Slip them something in their goblet.  Some will get offended by that now, cos they'll call it "rape" or whatever.  But um, you know... For me it's a helping hand."

Call me oversensitive, but I can't be the only one not laughing.  Referring to what is essentially date rape as "a helping hand" is gross and offensive to anyone who has ever experienced such an horrendous thing.

Now before I go any further, unfortunately, thanks to the kind of world we live in, I have to immediately defend myself.  Because if you express disapproval at this sort of off-the-cuff comment, you're quickly branded "humourless" or "a prude."  Indeed, having posted a link to a story about Freeman's remarks, I had a friend on Facebook tell me I was taking things far too seriously, which implies I should have a sense of humour where rape jokes are concerned.  So let me explain my sense of humour...

For a very long time, my number one hobby was attending comedy gigs.  I travelled the UK, seeking out small venues and undiscovered comedians.  It's how I became a massive fan of Jon Richardson years before 8 Out of 10 Cats or Live At The Apollo.  It's where I first saw Sarah Millican, long before anyone knew who the heck she was.  

Back when I first saw her, Sarah looked like this.  A year or so later, I mistook a stranger for Sarah at a party.  Oops.  She's one of my close friends now, so it's okay.  The stranger that is, not Sarah.  I'll stop talking now.

I revelled in all forms of live stand up; from whimsical musical spoofs to distinctly black humour.  And that's my point.  I like dark humour.  I'd go so far as to say I love dark humour.  I think comedy that skirts along the edge can be brilliant; it has the power, perhaps more so than any other kind of comedy, to force us to question things.  Dark humour can mock some of the nastiest things in life and shine a light on how bad they really are.  When dark humour is used in that manner, it's fantastic.  If Martin Freeman had made a joke about rape that made the rapist the butt of it - pouring scorn on the vile specimens that commit such acts and mocking them as the sub-human scum they are - I'd probably have laughed.  The fact is, he didn't.  And it's not just him, either.  All too often, if a rape joke is made, the punchline is at the expense of the victim.

I'm not here to say that Martin Freeman should never work again or that he's a hateful man for what he said (although I respect him less as a result of his comments).  I'm not here to tell people what they can or can't find funny.  I'm simply sitting here, wondering why anyone thinks that jokes about raping someone are okay.

According to Women's Aid, it is estimated that, worldwide, 1 in 5 women will experience rape or attempted rape in her lifetime.  Not one in a million, or even one in a hundred.  ONE IN FIVE.

And yet, society's general attitude towards rape is, in my opinion, pretty shocking.  How many times have you seen posters giving safety advice, telling women not to walk alone at night, not to get too drunk and to always use licensed taxi firms?  Sensible advice perhaps, but it places responsibility for not getting raped on the woman.  Where are the posters telling men not to attack people?!  Because the only person to blame in a rape case is the person who committed the act.  The victim's sobriety, outfit and choice of way home are entirely incidental.  The only person to blame is the rapist.

You only have to look at the response to the Steubenville rape case - in which people mourned the promising futures of the rapists and questioned how culpable the victim was - to see that all too often, rape just isn't taken seriously enough.

The fact is that rape is a shocking, abhorrent act, which can leave victims - male or female - feeling violated, unsafe and - wrongly - ashamed.

The only person who should feel a shred of shame as a result of rape, is the cowardly, despicable creature who carried out the attack.  And that's why, if we feel the need to joke about the topic, we should make the rapist the butt of said joke.  Make them feel the shame they deserve to feel.  Mock them, if we must make jokes about rape.  Never the victim.

Yet more often than not, it's the victim - or potential victim - who is the butt of the joke.  Much like with Martin Freeman's comment, when someone thinks they're being funny with regards to rape, the "humour" is  at the victim's expense.  When a "joke" like that is made, it's not being clever.  It's not using comedy to make a serious point about what a hideous crime rape or sexual assault actually is.  It's puerile, disgusting "ha, look how strong and clever I am" humour and it gives me no cause to laugh whatsoever.

I mentioned earlier that one in five women worldwide will experience rape or attempted rape in her lifetime.  That's an appalling statistic that shames society at large.  To take a cavalier attitude towards the subject - to make jokes about it - helps nobody and just perpetuates the dangerous idea that rape is unimportant or something that victims bring on themselves.

You only have to take to social media to see just how flippantly people treat rape.  I should issue a trigger warning for the following images:

Six people favourited this tweet. 

Eighty seven favourites for a tweet that suggests rape victims should be proud or feel grateful.

Trust me, you're a total and utter prick.

LOL.  Saying you'd rape your girlfriend is hilarious.

Life is good when you commit rape, everyone!

There were dozens and dozens of tweets like these when I searched today.  It took me a few seconds to find people merrily discussing rape as just "a cuddle with a struggle," or listing celebrities they'd "rape the hell out of." 

Why is this seen as acceptable?  Because it's something that happens to other people, so we're fine to laugh at them as long as it doesn't happen to us?  Bullshit.  One in FIVE.

It isn't funny.  It's not satirical or clever.  Rape is a despicable act, committed by people beneath contempt.  So when people make jokes that trivialise the subject, forgive me if I'm not laughing.