David Tennant describes himself as a geek in real life. THUS HE IS PERFECT.
Okay, guys. It's time to talk some serious honesty. And not just because I'm a bit tipsy on Disaronno right now and this feels like a good idea...
IT'S TIME TO PRAISE THE NERDY GUYS.
I am so tired of having images of stereotypically "sexy" men thrust in my face, as though attraction isn't remotely subjective and we're all supposed to drool over the same kind of person.
Just as the type of women that men are supposed to be attracted to is massively stereotyped (big boobs, flat belly...), so are the men that are presented to we ladies as "hot."
You know the type...
This was literally one of the top results for "hot guy" on Google.
That guy above? Does literally nothing for me. He has a nice pair of lips and good hair and I do appreciate a little bit of stubble, but I don't look at him and think "ooooh, THAT is what I want."
Because it isn't. Rock hard abs have never been on my fantasy wishlist and I doubt they ever will be. And frankly, that guy might well take longer in the bathroom than I do and I need my time spent in front of the mirror, desperately willing my face to behave.
One of my number one celebrity crushes is Graham Coxon from Blur. If you're reading this and you've no idea who that is, here you go:
Be still, my geeky heart.
But it's not just about looks, obviously. As much as I do tend to go for guys who differ from the standard definition of "sexy," it's important to note that nerdiness/geekiness is not simply about a certain aesthetic (although I do have a thing for glasses).
In my eyes, nerdiness/geekiness is about being passionate about something. To quote the fantastically nerdy Simon Pegg: "Being a geek is all about being honest about what you enjoy and not being afraid to demonstrate that affection. It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something."
And that, ladies and gents, is precisely what I find incredibly attractive in a man. Being unashamed to openly declare a passion for something they love, regardless of whether that thing is something that might not seem cool. Be it a TV show, a band, a sport, or something else entirely, if someone can happily chat for ages about how awesome their favourite thing is, then I'm pretty much hooked. When you can see that someone is excited by something (not like that, you filthy animals), that excitement becomes contagious, whether you are into the same thing or not.
Add to that the fact that we nerdy types have often experienced what it's like to be mocked and have therefore adapted ourselves to be somehow both more sensitive and yet sharper and self-deprecatingly funnier than most and you've got a winning combination.
I'd be more interested in a guy who could list actors who've appeared in his favourite TV/film franchise, than I would be in a guy who had abs that you could grate cheese on.
I'd be more interested in a man who can talk for ages about the kick he gets from whatever he's passionate about, than I would be in a man whose face looks like it could adorn magazine front covers.
Even fictional nerds are hot.
Sure, there's a lot more to it than simply being nerdy/geeky. I could meet a guy who was wonderfully nerdy about something, but also cruel, or selfish, or boring. And if that was the case - or if there was no chemistry whatsoever - then the geeky side of things wouldn't be enough by itself.
BUT...
...I want someone who's passionate about something. I want someone who's not ashamed to express that passion, regardless of whether it's cool or not. In fact, I want someone who doesn't care if he is cool or not.
To finish that Simon Pegg quote: "Being a geek is extremely liberating." And not only is that true, but being around geeky people is liberating, too. Because when one person feels able to declare their love for something seemingly silly or trivial, others soon join in. Sharing that honesty and that emotion is nothing short of joyous.
So embrace your inner geek. And if you are a geek... Call me.
I'm glad you wrote this, Emma. As someone who was bullied for awhile when young, then growing more sensitive and becoming "sharper and more self-deprecatingly funny", I developed my own passions to fill up my life. In fact, my wife tells me that when she met me, all I could talk about was what was my endless interest in psychoanalysis. Yes, a passionate. And that was over 40 years ago and we are still together. And you're right, the stereotype of what a male must be and what a female must be are very harmful.
ReplyDeleteThank you - I think having a passion about something makes a person much more interesting and shows that they have that capacity to really care deeply for something/someone, too. Being geeky is something to be celebrated in my eyes!
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