Sunday, 18 January 2015

PRESENTING: Emma's Top Ten Celebrity Crushes...

One has a mother-flippin' top TEN.

There are some questions that are just your average conversation pieces.  "How was your day?" For example.  Or: "Does my bum look big in this?"  But today during lunch, my best friend asked me a question which I've come to realise is something other people probably don't get asked quite so often:

"So, just who is your number one celebrity crush at the moment?"

Lydia asked me the question because I'm pretty much known for my celebrity crushes.  They are many and varied.  I've blogged about having crushes before, but during my lunch with Lydia today, we decided it would be hilarious if I actually came up with my current top ten celebrity crushes, along with reasons for them, in a chart-countdown kind of blog which will hopefully be just charming and witty enough to not make me seem like a massive, massive pervert...

So, greetings pop-pickers!  It's time for the top ten!

10. Ricky Wilson
Oh, Ricky.  So have I.

Ricky ticks several of my boxes (not a euphemism, people - keep it clean!).  He has a Northern accent, which I'm a bit of a sucker for, plus he's in a band.  It's definitely safe to say that over the years, I've had more crushes on singers or members of bands than I've had on actors or sports personalities.  Why?  I guess because of the confidence and charisma you've got to have to get up on stage and rock out.  And because music is so universal and such an important part of my life, that people who create it are just instantly more attractive in my eyes.

Speaking of eyes, Ricky has a pair.  You might have noticed them.  They're a lovely shade of blue and they're framed by eyelashes I would kill for.  Actually, I don't know whether I fancy his eyes, or whether I'm just a bit jealous of them.  Perhaps it's both.

9. Iwan Rheon
That hair, though.

Now, here's the thing.  When I have a crush on an actor, it's quite often originally based on a character they've played.  Such is the beauty of acting, I suppose...  Anyway, I was a huge fan of channel 4's Misfits, in which Iwan played a shy, slightly awkward character called Simon, who eventually became a superhero.  Yes, it was very realistic and totally plausible.  Anyway, I had a crush on Simon before I had a crush on Iwan, if that makes any sense.  But it turned out that Iwan plays guitar and sings.  He writes his own songs and... Well, as I said, that makes him instantly more attractive.  He's also Welsh and I'm a Manics fan, so you do the maths...

8. David Tennant
Oh, to be brave enough to use that as a chat-up line...

Remember what I said about crushes on actors coming primarily from the characters they play?  David Tennant was the FREAKING Doctor.  Characters don't come any cooler than a dude who travels through time and space, saving the universe like it's no big deal.  And this incarnation of the Doctor did it all whilst having amazing hair and a ridiculously cute, cheeky grin.

David's not just on this list because of his role in Doctor Who, though.  You see, this is where I get a bit weird... My biggest celebrity crushes have never been simply based on looks.  I've always been someone who likes people more based on their personality than their facial features.  So whilst it's not exactly a hindrance that David has big, puppy-dog eyes, just the right amount of stubble and a cute smile (and did I mention the amazing hair?!), one of the things that keeps him in the top ten is his general awesomeness.  He's funny, unafraid to take the piss out of himself (and the shows he's starred in), charming and unashamedly nerdy.  And that's basically my type in a nutshell.

7. Graham Coxon
Graham?  The camera's in front of you... Graham?  Oh, never mind...

Remember what I said about personality being just as important as looks, when it comes to my celebrity crushes?  Well if David Tennant is Exhibit A, here's Exhibit B.  Graham is sensitive and I have a major thing for a sensitive guy.  Basically, if you're not afraid to cry at Beaches, call me.  I have no idea whether Graham weeps at friendship-movies starring Bette Midler, but I do know that he's a sensitive soul.  He's also a musician/singer, so...  Yeah, there's that.  Plus, we all know I have a bit of a weakness for nerdy guys and Graham was always the nerdiest member of Blur (not that that stopped me from also fancying Damon Albarn...).  Graham was definitely the Richey Edwards of the band - the sensitive lyricist, who kind of made you want to protect him from the world.  

Which leads me nicely onto...

6. Richey Edwards

I'm not even going to attempt a witty comment.  He's too pretty.

Some people might think it's weird to have a celebrity on this list who's quite possibly (and certainly legally) dead.  But...  Bear with me.  It's my list and if I want a missing person on it, then damnit, I'm having a missing person on it.

Richey is one of those people who's not only here because of his looks, but we should probably address his looks, because... Damn.  Richey had huge, Bambi-like eyes, often ringed with perfect eyeliner, making him look like a slightly more masculine Audrey Hepburn.  Prior to shaving his head just before his disappearance in 1995, he also had what I would boldly refer to as PERFECT hair.  I mean seriously.  The hair.

*Attempts to ruffle the screen*

But my crush on Richey is, as I mentioned, about much more than his (admittedly near-bloody-perfect) looks.  He was hugely intelligent, deeply sensitive and incredibly passionate.  Yes, he also had more issues than you could shake a copy of The Holy Bible at, but he was always honest about them and that encouraged many people to speak out about their own emotional troubles.  And of course, his emotional troubles caused him to disappear almost exactly twenty years ago, never to be seen or heard of again, meaning not only that he will always be a beautiful twenty seven year old, bathed in mystery, but that I will always look twice at random beardy guys on the street, in case they look familiar.  Because you never know...

5. James Dean Bradfield
Why have ONE member of the Manics on my list, when I can have two?!

James Dean Bradfield is the lead singer of the Manic Street Preachers, the band from which Richey Edwards went AWOL back in 1995.  He's one of the most down-to-Earth celebrities I've ever met, one of the most incredible guitarists of his generation and he's responsible for writing the music to some of my favourite songs in the world.  If that doesn't explain his inclusion on this list, I don't know what does.

Oh and he's not tall.  I'm only five feet tall and I have a penchant for shorter guys, because they make me feel less like a total midget.  James fits that bill nicely.  I can stand next to him and look normal-sized:


On stage, JDB exudes a level of charisma that has me merrily changing the lyrics to Manics songs in order to make them more about his general handsomeness.  I have no guilt.

More importantly, James is not just a celebrity crush.  He's my musical hero.

4. Danny Jones
I screen-capped a video and I am not ashamed.

Speaking of on-stage charisma, McBusted's Danny Jones has it in spades.  He also has a Northern accent and awesome guitar skills, so his place in this list is pretty much cemented.  I've had a "thing" for Danny since way back when he still had too much hair and fewer tattoos.  His ability to get an entire crowd singing his band's lyrics back at him and generally losing their minds with excitement is definitely something to do with that, as is his sense of humour and general "cheeky chappy" persona.  After seeing McBusted in Weston-Super-Mare, I unashamedly sung "Oh Danny Boy" to myself as I was getting ready for bed...  The thing is, you take someone good looking and funny, put a guitar in his hands and I'm pretty much done.

DONE, I tell you.

3. Matt Smith
Doctor, I feel faint...

My crush on Matt crept up on me, somewhat.  It's been around for at least 18 months, probably two years, but I never expected it.  I was a Tennant-fangirl and it broke my heart when the 10th Doctor regenerated into the 11th.  For most of Matt's first season as the Doctor, I kind of resented him and his floppy hair.  He wasn't David!  WHAT WAS A WHOVIAN TO DO?!

Then I decided to re-watch all of "new-Who" and when I got to Matt's first series, I finally gave him the time and appreciation he deserved.  And his acting in some scenes absolutely floored me.  It wasn't just prancing about like a giraffe, flipping his hair around.  He was good.  So good, in fact, that Matt piggy-backed over David Tennant and became my favourite Doctor ever.  His emotional speeches are second to none and he can do light and shade in a way that still takes my breath away when I watch certain episodes.

Plus, Matt always comes across as a funny, genuinely nice guy when you see him in interviews etc.  He's also in touch with his emotions - anyone who's seen the cast read-through of his final episode of Doctor Who, where he breaks down as he reads his last lines, can attest to his sensitive side.  That said, he has a silly side, too  - ever seen his mini Doctor Who episode, filmed with James Corden?!  Have a look on YouTube.  It'll make you giggle. 

And then there's the fact that he's unspeakably gorgeous.  That probably helps, too.

Yeah.  It helps.

2. Johnny Galecki

I have a tendency to get into things well after everyone else has.  Such was the case with The Big Bang Theory.  Once I did get into the show, I originally had a bit of a crush on Simon Helberg, who plays Howard, because he's just rather lovable and also cute.  But within a week or two of that crush forming and fading, I had switched allegiance.  Colour me Galecki.

Let's get the shallow bit out of the way first:  Johnny is gorgeous.  Those eyes, that jaw-line, his curly hair, that smile...  Even the lack of height (he's only 5'5") is a turn-on for me, what with my own short stature.  He has broad shoulders and he just looks like he'd be amazing to cuddle.  And I won't lie:  I definitely have "ability to give good hugs" on my crush-checklist.  Maybe I should have included Olaf from Frozen on here...  He likes warm hugs, right?!  Anyway, I digress...

Johnny is also intelligent and funny and a talented actor.  I recently read an interview in which he talked in depth about the emotional content of the sitcom he's most famous for and it was all I could do not to endlessly sigh, as he spoke about his affection for the series and for the characters within it. My brain just went: "Oh, he's so lovely and smart and emotionally intelligent..."
If you watch full cast interviews, he's also often the one who chips in with a slightly sarcastic, witty remark, rather than hogging the opportunity to talk.  Witty chip-ins have always been something I am a total and utter sucker for (if I'd written this list a couple of years ago, it would have featured at least 3 or 4 comedians), so that was a bit of a clincher, too, as was the fact that in those group interviews, you can tell he's honestly listening to what his cast-mates are saying, rather than twiddling his thumbs and waiting to get away (or at least, if he is waiting to get away, he's masking it pretty well - told you he was a good actor!).  He also has a rather enigmatic quality; every now and then, he'll smile to himself in a manner that makes me want to cry: "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, OH GORGEOUS ONE?!"  But I manage to keep that in, because... I'm not ready to entirely embrace insanity.
And I guess I probably have a crush on Leonard in The Big Bang Theory, too.  He's definitely my favourite character and, as Lydia and I agreed at lunch, the funniest person on the show.  

1. James Bourne

Can't. Handle. The cuteness.

 So why is James my number one?  Well, firstly, he's an incredibly talented (and frankly, underrated) songwriter.  Not only did he pen most of Busted's songs, but he's had a hand in a lot of McFly's as well, plus numerous other artists' singles have been either fully written or at least co-written by James.  Talent like that is a definite aphrodisiac.  Show me a cute guy and I'm happy.  Show me one who can also sing and play the guitar and I'm in Heaven.  James can do both (and I do believe he plays piano as well...) and he does them brilliantly.

He's also delightfully silly, wonderfully nerdy (he can quote so much of Back To The Future, I find myself wishing he'd just re-film it, playing every role himself...) and has a stage presence that makes me swoon.  James is just all kinds of awesome; one of the people on this list I think I'd genuinely get along with in real-life and someone whose Twitter page is well worth a follow.  I always say, slightly tongue-in-cheek that I can't just fancy a celebrity because they're hot, they have to be someone I think is a nice person as well.  I say it semi-jokingly, but the sad fact is it's true; I can't swoon over a gorgeous dickhead.  So it's handy that whilst he's lovely looking, James always comes across as just being lovely with it.  He has a sense of humour, he's clever and he's cheeky with it.  I think my biggest celebrity crushes have always been on people I reckon I could go out for a drink with and have an awesome time.  James fits that bill; I think he'd definitely make me laugh.

And on a shallow note... Look at those big blue eyes and that gorgeous, blonde, curly hair...  


And so there we have it.  Possibly the most shallow blog I've ever written, but after the last one being on such a deep, personal topic, it was kind of nice to write about something shallow!  

This list is, of course, subject to change (EDIT: And the top two have changed places at least twice since I wrote this blog originally...), but for now, the question asked of me at lunch time has been answered.  Who's my current number one crush?  Well, let's just say I could have called this blog "The Bourne Supremecy." ;-)

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